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LEXOPHILES FROM SISTER KATHY

(and I thought they loved Lexus automobiles)

 

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired

2. A will is a dead giveaway

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

4. A backward poet writes inverse

5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion

7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under

15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key

16. A calendar’s days are numbered

17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery

21. A short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end

23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis

27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done

The Waynedale News Staff

The Waynedale News Staff

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