HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH
This week’s HTYH is a continuation of Bud’s story:
Three years after the university doctor discovered my heart problem, I allowed the surgeon’s to close-up the hole between the two chambers of my heart and I could hardly believe the difference.
At the end of that semester I really tied one on and was amazed to discover that I was up and functioning again by noon the next day? All the years before surgery I’d been stuck with a bad heart and never knew it. Hangovers back then lasted between thirty and forty hours, but now all that had changed.
My first marriage happened at a young age and it was to a Catholic girl. I was a Catholic again and it’s written in stone somewhere that you can never-ever get a divorce? But if you drink alcohol like I did even a Catholic girl will cut you loose and after California laws ran their course I was single again. I moved in with a second lady and we started what’s known as a California marriage and that’s where her stuff and my stuff became our stuff. This woman had the new home, new furniture, a brand new Oldsmobile and she was making about a thousand dollars a month while I was paid about 300 dollars a month and driving a 1954 Pontiac and I also had an old Army desk from a Laguna Beach garage sale. We put our stuff together and became man and wife California style, but it didn’t seem official so we drove her new Oldsmobile, to Las Vegas where I became a bigamist.
My second wife’s sixteen-year old daughter lived with us for about two months before she moved in with her brother who moved out the day our California marriage began. To hell with them, I tried to be a good parent but because I drank too much; they wouldn’t let me. Things still didn’t seem quite right and I wanted this marriage to last forever so I drove to L.A., bought a marriage license, and brought it back to Orange County and made our California marriage really official? That was during the three months that I was a Presbyterian, but Presbyterian women catch on to chronic alcoholics quicker than Catholic women.
Three months after my second marriage, I came home at 2:30 AM (the bars closed at 2:00), and my old key wouldn’t fit her new lock, and all of my stuff was out in the street. I couldn’t believe it I’d never in my life had a woman treat me that badly! My 1954 Pontiac wasn’t running then and so I called a buddy who drove his pickup truck over and we loaded my stuff into it.
The next day I filed a counter suit and I decided my “real problem” (alcoholics are good at figuring out their problem), was that I kept marrying non-drinking women. My first wife was my age, the second was older than me and what I needed to do was marry a real young woman and train her? It was then that I met faithful Mary, I was thirty-four and she was 23 when her training began. As it turned out she was a card-carrying member of that other feminine fellowship (they all had the same gym teacher)? I tried to get her to move in with me but she wouldn’t, I didn’t want to take this one to Las Vegas because I feared they might wise her up that I’d been there before. So, I tried to convince her she should go to Mexico and get married, but she wouldn’t go for that either? In March after our son was born she finally relented to marriage and in April her parents flew out to California for our wedding and to babysit their grandchild while we (faithful Mary and I), honeymooned at San Clemente’, California. I bought her dinner and we checked into our motel, I watched a little TV, she took a shower and then I went to sleep. The next morning I bought her breakfast and we drove back to Santa Anna, picked up the kid and we moved in together since she had her magic piece of paper and a thirteen-day old son. Since our honeymoon was over I went to work the next day.
Yesterday, Mary and I celebrated 37 years together.
To be continued…
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