Author: Jim Schindler

Once, I thought I was goofy,but I knew better than that. Together AgainIf Napoleon could gather all his bones together

Old age isn’t for wimps. Just ask me! Mother’s FaultSince Mother Nature made everything taste so good and since we

Anything is better than nothing! BiWhile in the process of checking out at the grocery store the cashier asked, “Paper

A sure way to alienate your grown children is to stick your nose in their business. The Real WhopperI overheard

Don’t retire before you expire. The Dress(An ad as it appearedin a British newspaper).For sale: wedding dress~ worn only once

Self-praise is not praiseworthy The Right SideThere are two sides to every marital spat; the right side and her side.Ladies,

Knowledge is priceless … Ignorance is free! The ExceptionsHarold Camping, the California preacher, who erroneously predicted the end of the

Never let your emotions override your judgment… A hot head doesn’t do anycool thinking! Laughless“When I tell my husband a

“You can’t solve a problem by throwing money at it!”Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our politicians and bureaucrats understood this?

If every snowflake is different, why does all snow look alike? Christmas EveSanta lost his way tonight,It was an awful

The difference between a hotel and a motel is…a hotel can charge more. The Guilt TripEvery December, my old friend,

You don’t have to be a turkey to gobble. The FeastOn Thanksgiving DayWe count our blessings,Then stuff our faces,With turkey

When many people say they don’t remember, what they really mean is they never knew. Idiocy PersonifiedA friend of mine

You can’t buy class.Only the classless think they can. No GutsI hate Halloween,Mary the pumpkin said,They carved up my face,And

Never talk too much about too little. The EarringsMy friend Dan and I were having dinner at Bandido’s, my favorite

Uncle Sam, can you hear me?You can’t spend yourself out of debt. Bad JudgeWhen it comes to the judges on

The most beneficial force in the world is love.The most destructive is hate. Jesus’ Underwear The second grade class at

If I learned from all my mistakes…I’d be pretty damn smart! The Bread Man It always amazes me when I

Folks, I have good news and bad news. Since the world didn’t end, as some naysayer predicted, I guess you’re

A wound from a cutting remark…never heals. Rough Sailing(The names have been changed to protect my derriere)Since Matt and Lisa

A kind word is a joy forever. TanksIn gratitude for the Army’s help in forcing Hosni Mubarak out of office,

He who relies on luck to get ahead, will be done in for when his luck runs out. No Ties

Why can’t I remember what I forgot? No More TricksAt our recent class of 52′ get-to-gether, the table was quite

Over time, truth triumphs! The Wiper I walked into my favorite Mexican restaurant and sat down in the bar.“Kim,” I

What was so damn great aboutthe Great Depression? The Wet BikeThree year-old Tami was riding her tricycle when daddy came

Money can’t buy happiness and happiness can’t buy money,but wouldn’t we all be happier if we had a little more

The fruit of the vine…loosens the lips. A Duck GroanerWhile having lunch at Columbia Street Restaurant, with my 88-year-old mother-in-law,

Strive to rise above average. For if you’re average, you’re just another face in the crowd. The “F” WordIn William’s

The Lost Marbles  The Indiana House members, who fled to an Illinois hotel to avoid doing the job they were