You can’t buy class.
Only the classless think they can.

No Guts
I hate Halloween,
Mary the pumpkin said,
They carved up my face,
And lit up my head.

They took all my innards,
And made pumpkin pie.
I felt so empty,
I thought I would die.

Thanksgiving’s next,
I heard them say,
But without any innards,
They threw me away.
Now here I lie
In a garbage heap,
My skin is all wrinkled,
My shell has no meat.

What a terrible shame,
To end up this way,
But, if I had the guts,
Why … I’d run away.
~Mary Pumpkin

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Jim Schindler

A graduate of John Carroll University and a successful businessman, the founder/ CEO of Bandido's Mexican restaurants. Jim writes the "Schindler Sez" column in the newspaper. He also authors a series of books of short, true, and humorous stories. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer