THE WAYNEDALE NEWS DECLARED UNOFFICIAL WINNER IN TEXTURE COMPARISON CONTEST

In a recent, ‘Little House Out Back’ Product Comparison Contest, The Waynedale News was found to have a far superior texture. It is to this effect that Publisher and Editor Bob Stark made the decision to deliver The Waynedale News with a hole pre-punched in the upper left hand corner of each and every issue starting with the next issue printed after our April 1, 2003 issue. “This will let our consumers know they’re number one with us and to make it more convenient for them to use The Waynedale News,” he said.

He also said, “I’m sure a lot of our rural customers will appreciate this; it will make for reading and using our paper a lot easier and will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that The Waynedale News isn’t just for those who read anymore. We’re readily available for reading, as well as recycling.”

Local area product testers, who wished to remain anonymous, tested several dozen other printed publications before reaching the conclusion that THE WAYNEDALE NEWS is the very best of the lot and the addition of the ‘hole’ put them out in front. Other periodicals tested came from: local daily newspapers (both morning and night), as well as those printed weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly.

Magazines that were tested were Life Magazine, Boys’ Life, Outdoor Life, Sports Afield, Field & Stream, Cosmopolitan, the Sears Catalog, and the J.C. Penny’s catalog. Several area phone books were also tested. Bob Stark noticed that none of the papers, magazines, or catalogs came with a hole predrilled in the upper left hand corner and preceded to punch the hole just before choosing and submitting last year’s April 1st issue for testing. Books from our Waynedale Branch of the Allen County Public Library were not allowed to be used in the contest.

By punching a hole in the upper left hand corner, our paper automatically had the upper edge in the contest, because no one else has come up with that idea yet. Ours will be the first and it will be the most convenient. Our Associate Editor Ray McCune came up with the test after reflecting on his life while growing up in the mountains of West Virginia. He said, “Why down home all the catalogs come with a hole in the upper left hand corner; and some even come with pre-wrinkled pages for convenience sake.” We never had soft paper like THE WAYNEDALE NEWS. If we’uns hadda subscripshun ta THA WYNEDALE NUSS we’d a even dun away with tha corncob backup bucket” he said as his voice reverted to his native dialect. He was excited. “Why down home we all ways knode when it come Sprang cus there’d be nuthin’ left inna catalog but tha pages with advertisement fer women’s underwear un farm machinery.” he stated further.

NOTE: Due to the added high cost of punching a hole in each and every issue of THE WAYNEDALE NEWS, Editor Bob Stark has decided to let anyone in the area, who desires to have a hole punched in the upper left hand corner of their copy of THE WAYNEDALE NEWS, come in and use our hole punching machine absolutely free of charge. We are set up to punch a hole in the upper right hand corner of the backside of the paper if any of our customers are left-handed. If you’re in a hurry, just drive an 8-penny nail through the paper into whatever wall you want to hang it on. However, a pre-drilled hole makes it easier to remove the paper for reading while you’re waiting.

IMEL INSURANCE furnished all prizes for the contest. 1ST Place prize was a mixed case of Cottonelle and Northern tissue; 2nd Place prize was a roll of tissue of choice. The thirty-seven 3rd Place winners all received tickets for FREE bags of popcorn at our upcoming WAYNEDALE DAZE celebration right after the Memorial Day parade. We want to thank all of those whose products were tested in the contest. – THE CONTEST COMMITTEE