HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH
This week’s HTYH is a continuation of Bud’s story: I observed what happened to people in A.A. who conducted the Big Book’s famous “Experiment for doubters,” they ended up far worse-off than before they came to A.A. Some were locked up in nut-wards, others were incarcerated and still others ended up in the obituaries. In every appraisal these men who all had superior education, skills, income and physical condition; utterly failed.
That was in 1946, and alcoholics have not changed, people in A.A. today are still conducting the “Experiment for doubters” and they’re getting the same results. Alcoholic insanity is best defined as doing the same thing, over and over again; expecting different results! I have never observed one successful attempt when a “real” alcoholic attempted to control his/her drinking; I’m still waiting. After observing so many failed attempts at controlled drinking during my first months of sobriety, I wondered if one year of sobriety was enough to conquer my alcohol-addiction? And so, I moved forward by another notch; I reached the point of conviction, frustrating conviction at 33 years of age. Why does this have to happen to me? I loved those neon signs; I surely must have a lot of mileage left? I moaned and groaned, but nevertheless didn’t take that first fatal drink of alcohol.
My first A.A. anniversary finally arrived, they had a cake with one candle on it and my short buddy shook my hand and said, “I see you made it one year!” Congratulations; I think? I said, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said, I’ve listened to you whine the last year; you walk around our meetings like a wounded moose. He said, “There’s still one word you need to learn.” I said, “What word is that genius?” He said, “Surrender!” This time, I had an answer for him. I turned on him and said, “Look, when I came into this program you guys told me I didn’t have to do anything and now you’re telling me I must surrender; surrender to win, surrender to what?” This is beginning to sound like the tambourine and I ain’t going to buy it? Shorty was savvy enough to leave me alone to roll in my self-pity. He said, “I don’t know how the hell you’re keeping sober but keep it up,” and he walked away.
Soon after however, my aged, kind and patient sponsor pulled into my driveway in his old, beat-up, rusty Chevy. He said, “Get in.” “Where to,” I asked? He said, “It makes no difference, get in!” I got in and we drove to a near-by town and up to a house where he said, “Get out.” We went up on the porch, knocked on the door and the woman who answered the door looked totally defeated. She said, “Oh, are you from A.A.?” My sponsor said, “Yes Mum,” and she said, “It’s upstairs.” My sponsor said, “Come on.” I didn’t know what the hell I was getting into but I followed him upstairs. When he opened the door, I recognized ‘It,” he reminded me of me, he was shaking, the bed was shaking and so was the whole room. My sponsor said, “Go sit in the corner and keep quiet.” He sat next to the character on the bed, but instead of talking to him about his affliction, John told the man his own life story and about his struggle with alcohol.
From where, I sat in the corner it was fascinating to observe. As John quietly talked to the man, the bed began to quiet and the prospect began nodding his head, yes. Finally John asked him the big question, “Do you want to quit?” The man nodded his head “yes.” John arranged the man’s first A.A. meeting and it was miraculous to observe that in just a few short weeks this quivering wreck of a human being had turned into a fairly likable person. I was really amazed at the healing power John seemed to possess.
After that first 12-step call, every Saturday and Sunday John showed up in his rusty Chevy.
To be continued…
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