Author: Jim Schindler

It is better to have it and not need it…than it is to need it and not have it. The Right and Left Politically speaking, have you ever wondered why Conservatives are called the “Right,” and Liberals the “Left?”A . . Read More

There is an olde saying that goes, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I beg to differ. You can teach an old dog new tricks, it just takes a lot more time and patience. . . Read More

Schindler Sez… It doesn’t matter which way you go, as long as you get there. The Skivvie on Sim’s Fondest Memory During breakfast this morning with my eighty-three-year old friend, Sim Hain, at the West End Restaurant, I asked him what . . . Read More

Everybody likes to laugh…but no one likes to be laughed at. NutsIn vaudeville days, the cheapest and rowdiest seats in the house were called the peanut gallery. That’s because that audience usually bought peanuts since they were the . . . Read More

The deal’s not done until thecheck clears the bank. SorryIf you drink regular or diet pop, I can promise two things that won’t happen to you. First, you won’t get any healthier and second, you won’t get any sweeter. . . Read More

What do tornados have againsttrailer parks? A Quote to remember on July 4thThis Nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.~Elmer . . Read More

You don’t have to own a donkey to kick a_ _. Father’s DayOn June 19th,Don’t forget dad,If it wasn’t for him,You might have been bad. The Smart Phone“Dad,” my son Jimmie, asked, “Why don’t you get . . . Read More

Once, I thought I was goofy,but I knew better than that. Together AgainIf Napoleon could gather all his bones together …would he still be Bonaparte? The Real ProblemDo you know what the real problem is with our dysfunctional congress? . . Read More

Old age isn’t for wimps. Just ask me! Mother’s FaultSince Mother Nature made everything taste so good and since we have to eat to live, I hate to say it, “But it’s her fault I have a fat head!” . . Read More

Anything is better than nothing! BiWhile in the process of checking out at the grocery store the cashier asked, “Paper or plastic?”“It doesn’t matter to me,” the customer replied, “I’m bi-sacksual!” . . Read More

A sure way to alienate your grown children is to stick your nose in their business. The Real WhopperI overheard one lady say to another. “I worked my derriere off for that company and they let me go.”Looking . . Read More

Don’t retire before you expire. The Dress(An ad as it appearedin a British newspaper).For sale: wedding dress~ worn only once ~ by mistake. The Steal BusinessI have a friend who is in the steel business. . . Read More

Self-praise is not praiseworthy The Right SideThere are two sides to every marital spat; the right side and her side.Ladies, if it would make you happier, I’ll reverse it. There are two sides to every marital spat; her side and the right side. . . Read More

Knowledge is priceless … Ignorance is free! The ExceptionsHarold Camping, the California preacher, who erroneously predicted the end of the world, not once, but twice, is obviously preaching the wrong message. . . Read More

Never let your emotions override your judgment… A hot head doesn’t do anycool thinking! Laughless“When I tell my husband a joke he never laughs,” Holly was telling me, somewhat peeved. “But when he tells someone else . . . Read More

“You can’t solve a problem by throwing money at it!”Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our politicians and bureaucrats understood this? JackA lot of people don’t know Jack. Do you know Jack? . . Read More

If every snowflake is different, why does all snow look alike? Christmas EveSanta lost his way tonight,It was an awful mess.For Rudolph’s nose was none too bright,And he lost his GPS. . . Read More

The difference between a hotel and a motel is…a hotel can charge more. The Guilt TripEvery December, my old friend, Mark, who happens to be Jewish, gives me a day planner, which I use to keep track of my daily appointments. . . Read More

You don’t have to be a turkey to gobble. The FeastOn Thanksgiving DayWe count our blessings,Then stuff our faces,With turkey and dressings. Pass me please,The candied yams,The ruby red cranberries,And honey baked ham. . . Read More

When many people say they don’t remember, what they really mean is they never knew. Idiocy PersonifiedA friend of mine emailed me the following, which definitely helps to explain my theory, that there are more village idiots in Washington, than . . . Read More

You can’t buy class.Only the classless think they can. No GutsI hate Halloween,Mary the pumpkin said,They carved up my face,And lit up my head. They took all my innards,And made pumpkin pie.I . . Read More