Some people are perfectly content being single. But for those who are actively looking for a significant other, Valentine’s Day can be a frustrating and even depressing day because it reminds them they have not been successful in their quest.
To them, the entire world can seem to be full of happy couples in love, but this is because of their perspective. The same thing happens to people who are married and trying to have kids – to them, the entire world seems to full of happy couples in love who have children. Our perspective can make us see the world in a way that may not be entirely accurate.
“Don’t fall for the illusion that the world was suddenly overtaken by loving, happy couples eating Valentine’s chocolates, sipping champagne behind a silhouette of dozens of roses on an exotic island in a faraway tropical paradise,” says Tom Corner, a motivational speaker and author of Borrowed Eyes and Feet: Finding Enlightenment After Rage (www.tomcorner.net) “It is our perspective that can help us react positively to any situation.”
Corner says the one thing you don’t want to do on Valentine’s Day is be on social media.
“Social media on Valentine’s Day will erupt in an annoying frenzy of posts about love, couples and happiness! Yecch!” he says. “Not only is it full of messages for couples, but it is also not healthy for you to see your ex’s posts about his or her new love.”
Corner says many singles dread Valentine’s Day so they ignore it and then try to hide from the avalanche of television, radio and social media reminders of the date. He encourages them to make plans in advance, even if those plans are to stay home with a new novel or binge watch favorite shows.
“If you don’t make plans to do something, you may end up crying in your beer or glass of wine all alone,” he says. “And this simply stinks!”
Corner has these suggestions for singles who are looking to make Valentine’s Day plans:
– Host a Singles-Only Dinner Party or Night on the Town. Invite all your favorite single people and toast to your independence. Even better, a friend who happens to be single, recently took her friends out for Axe Throwing. (Yep, it’s a thing!)
– Pamper Yourself. Treat yourself to a haircut, beauty treatment, or massage. Splurge on something. Buy a nice piece of jewelry or purchase tickets for a future concert. Take a long bath, give yourself a face mask, paint your nails, or binge-watch your favorite shows.
– Cook a Romantic Dinner for Your Relatives. Your parents, grandparents or even an aunt or uncle you know may be spending the evening alone and would love to hear from you. Set the table, light candles, and open a good bottle of sparkling wine.
– Go to the Gym. My friend, previously mentioned, who recently broke-up with her boyfriend is putting together a CrossFit Workout of the Day (WOD) for Singles.
– Babysit for Friends or Relatives. Be the cool aunt or uncle: order pizza or make brownie sundaes. Being with children helps us connect with our inner child.
– Revisit Your Resolutions. Many of the previous ideas are wonderful in the short term, but what happens after Valentine’s Day is over? Why not spend time taking stock of your life up to this point? Why not pre-pave where you want to be in a year, or 5 years, or 10 years. How will your life look? Who will you be with? The more you visualize and write down how you see your life (love life) the more you will attract the love of your life. Ask yourself, “What will I be doing on Valentine’s Day next year?” and then plan for it.
Corner says with a little planning, singles who are looking for a significant other can fill Valentine’s Day with meaningful and thoughtful activities.
More importantly, he says they can change their perspective which will allow them to see their love life clearly this year and in the future.
Tom Corner, author of Borrowed Eyes and Feet: Finding Enlightenment After Rage” (www.tomcorner.net), is a writer and visionary leader who is a motivated professional with a lifetime of experience in the people business.