Old Jim and me, we couldn’t agree on anything, by heck.
If he hadn’t been sort of company, I’d have rung his blasted neck.
No matter what I’d say or do, I never once was right.
His all-wise tolerating smirk would cause a Saint to fight.
His ugly mug and mulish ways were forever in my hair.
You’d think the way he burned me, I’d have given the guy the air.
We were kids long years ago, living side by side.
His bat wing ears and freckled puss sort a got me deep inside.
We lived way out beyond the tracks. Our folks did all they could.
We was poor and times was hard, so we didn’t fare so good.
We had enough to eat I guess, but our clothes had to do
With patches there and everywhere to keep the skin from shining through.
A bunch of wise guys laughed at me one evening after school.
Old Jim was tough and so was I, so we gave them a belly full.
We’d help each other out of jams, regardless of their size.
Then perhaps we’d start an argument and black each other’s eyes.
We grew up in spite of everything. Time always marches on.
I started out to win the world and old Jim went along.
We found a job and everything was going pretty Jake
Until the day we got the notion that we both loved Sadie Blake.
Now Sadie was a pretty lass, as pretty as could be,
But she couldn’t make her mind up whether she loved Jim or me.
She said we’d have to fight a duel. The winner she would wed
She couldn’t give her one and all ’til the other one was dead.
I was in an awful pickle filled with love from stem to stern.
But I knew whoever won that duel would surely have to burn.
I suffered untold agonies until the break of day
When I packed my little broken heart and vowed I’d go away.
My life was ruined, that I knew, I never could recover.
My future seemed so black and blue, my love was gone forever.
But my broken heart, it beat right on, regardless of the pain.
Organic matter must be strong to stand that awful strain.
The only balm that my wound could find was how happy they must be,
And I wondered in their happiness if they would ever think of me.
While I was waiting for a train, in misery complete,
Who, but old Jim came walking in looking for a seat.
That dang old ornery rooster. It was plain as plain could be, he
Was getting out just like I was and leaving Said for me.
What became of Sadie, I suppose you’d like to know.
She was married when she pulled this gag, we never had a show.
We’re older now and many drops of water fell since then.
Say, it’s nice to know where ere you go someplace there is a friend
Just like old Jim the darn old crow, he’s ornery as can be.
Well so am I and this I know, he’ll wade through hell for me.
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