NEWS FROM THE HILLS
Have you ever done something so stupid that you would like to dig a hole and crawl in it?‑ Or taken a fall and immediately looked around to see if anyone had seen you do it?
I don’t mean a fall where you actually get hurt.‑ At that time you are glad that someone can come to your aid.‑ I recall running down the hill at high school when I had three minutes to get from the top floor where I had a home economics class to the “new building” for journalism.‑ The black-topped street was steep and full of potholes, and I caught my toe in one of them.
I went sliding down the hill on my belly, skinning my knees badly and ripping all the buttons off the front of my blouse.‑ After two concerned classmates supported me on each side and escorted me to Principal Fred Smith’s office, I discovered that my skirt was split behind from hem to waistband.‑ I didn’t care-I was hurt.
Ordinarily, a lesser pratfall at that age would have humiliated me beyond belief.‑ But as I have grown much older, those mortifying incidents are funny.‑ We can laugh at ourselves, and sometimes at others, although that is not always wise.
Patty and I took Mom to the eye doctor last week, and rolled her wheelchair down to the lower level for a field vision test.‑ The chairs were placed in a semi-circle, and most of them were occupied by older ladies who were waiting their turn.‑ I asked Mom is she’d rather face Patty and me, or have her chair turned to face the ladies.‑ She paused a minute and said,”Well, I can’t decide who’s the ugliest!”
I managed a feeble smile and remarked.‑ “I guess when you are 89, you can say what you want.”‑ Patty added, sotto voice, “She always has!”‑ I looked around for a hole, but there was none visible.
A few days ago I was coming out of the supermarket with a basket of groceries, which the carry-out boy was wheeling for me.‑ He put them in my car, and I thanked him.‑ A friend came by and we chatted for a few minutes, then I got behind the wheel and started to leave.‑ The realization came to me that the dashboard was not familiar.‑ I had gotten in the wrong car.‑ Well, they were the same color.
My sister Susie had a worse experience.‑ While visiting our sister Jeannie in another town, she drove to a shopping mall and browsed around.‑ She returned to the parking lot, unlocked her car, and drove away.‑ It slowly dawned on her that some of the contents were unfamiliar.‑ “Hmmm,” she thought, “I don’t remember putting those newspapers in the back seat.”
She opened the glove compartment and realized, “Hey, this is not my car!”‑ She hurriedly turned around and drove back to the parking lot to find an irate man pacing around her car.‑ She tried to explain that the cars were identical, and her key did fit.‑ He was not a happy camper.
My friend Sharon confessed that she and her daughter Mandy made a trip to Charleston to take Mandy’s two tots to a special children’s show.‑ They went early and wooled the active youngsters around until show time.‑ Then they discovered they had the wrong day …Patty and her friend Denise had the right day, but the wrong meeting.‑ They sat through a discussion that left them bewildered and wondering what was going on.‑ Denise whispered, “We’ve got the wrong meeting-let’s get out of here!”‑ They crept out, only to discover Denise had left her car keys lying on the table . . .
My brother Ronnie made a beautiful faux pau when they lived in Louisiana.‑ They lived in an apartment complex that was built around a swimming pool, and the apartments were all identical.‑ Uncle Myles and Aunt Lucille had an apartment there also.‑ Ronnie swam for awhile then wandered into Aunt Lucille’s apartment for something to eat.
No one was there, so he rummaged in the refrigerator and took out the makings for a sandwich.‑ He poured a glass of milk, and sat down to relax and eat.‑ An older lady came in and sat down.‑ Thinking she was one of Aunt Lucille’s friends, he asked her if she wanted a sandwich.‑ She politely declined his offer, and then he asked her if she was looking for Aunt Lucy.‑ “No,” she answered with a small grin.‑ “I live here.”‑ He was in the wrong apartment.
It is a good thing that God instilled in us a sense of humor, so that we have the ability to laugh at ourselves-or at others if you have the nerve.‑ All of us are amused at the antics of our little ones, though sometimes we have to hide a laugh behind our hand.
This one is for you, Ellie.‑ My nephew Eric was alone in the car with his five year old daughter Madison.‑‑ He stopped and bought her a bag of candy, which she began to devour with gusto.‑ “Maddie,” Eric asked, “don’t you think you should save your sisters some of that candy?”‑ “Naw,” Maddie answered, “they know what it tastes like!”
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