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What do carpenter ants build?

A Double
Barney Wertzberger,
In Two Brother’s Bar
With a five cent beer,
And a ten cent cigar

“The next one’s on me,”
Said the one brother,
“I’ll buy one too,”
Said the T’other.

“I’ll have an Old Granddad,
I’d like that a lot,
And give me them both.
With a double shot.”‘

(In case you teatotalers and young whippersnappers don’t know it, way back then you could really buy a draft beer for a nickel. But Old Granddad was and still is, an expensive whiskey.)

The Consumer
In Decatur, Indiana, in the 1950s, Carl was a successful salesman and quite a character, who loved a good time. He was also overly fond of anything brewed, fermented, or distilled. Not being a fool, Carl hired Joe to chauffer him around on his nights on the town, as to avoid any problems with the local constabulary.

His prodigious consumption was legendary because he could drink the night away and still appear sober. When a friend mentioned how much the younger guys could consume, he replied, “Hell…I spill more than they drink.”

Only in America
Only in Americawould they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while the politicians consider letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally, become American citizens.

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Jim Schindler

A graduate of John Carroll University and a successful businessman, the founder/ CEO of Bandido's Mexican restaurants. Jim writes the "Schindler Sez" column in the newspaper. He also authors a series of books of short, true, and humorous stories. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer