SCHINDLER SEZ

If you want to see your worst picture, look at your driver’s license.

The Author

My baptismal name is James Arthur Schindler. However, since I have written two books and am currently writing a couple of newspaper columns, my wife now calls me James Author. “But,” she said, “don’t let it go to your head, it’s already fat enough!”

The Good Kisser

Even though his ratings sucked, NBC paid Conan O’Brien something like thirty-two and a half million to leave, and Conan griped that NBC gave him the short end. I wish someone would mistreat me like that. If they did, instead of complaining, I’d kiss their derriere. And my wife says I’m a pretty good kisser, in case anyone wants to take me up on the offer and give me $32.5 million.

A Dark Condition

People that text while driving, are indubitably suffering from that rapidly growing condition called uppis.