MAE JULIAN
THE PIE
As a general rule, I consider myself a good cook. It is true that I am not in the kitchen all that much anymore, but, well…it was those apples that did me in. Whilst at the lake house, my husband noted that there was a bumper crock of apples on the three trees on our land (they were there when we bought the house). I guess he couldn’t help himself, and went up and picked a couple of buckets full.
After we got home he made mention of how it would be nice to have an apple pie. Now, I have to confess that I have no idea how long, if ever, it has been since I made an apple pie. So, I turned to the computer, rather than dig out an old cookbook that I got as a wedding gift from my mother-in-law years ago. I think the only thing I have ever used it for was a fudge recipe. At any rate, I went to the computer and typed in “recipes”. It came up with a variety of choices. I picked one that had a lot of compliments (4 star ratings) on it. How could I go wrong?
I procrastinated a few days and my husband made mention of the fact that those apples might get soft or go bad if they weren’t used. Well, I took the hint and decided to take the plunge.
Well, the first problem was that the print was too small. I guess I should have enlarged it before I copied it out on the printer. At any rate, it seemed rather straightforward. So, I mixed up what I thought was the pie, and it went over to page two that listed two more ingredients. I moaned, and added those. After I got it done, I noted that it said: Pie filling next. I said to myself…that’s what I just made! Well, that was the pie crust, not the filling. Nuts. I saw that I had made a couple of mistakes and put in the filling what was meant for the pie itself, minus the apples. That is, I had put the cinnamon and the nutmeg and sugar into the crust by mistake. Oh, well, I reasoned. I would just make the filling as directed and add just a little bit of the cinnamon and nutmeg and cut back on the sugar. It made perfect sense, since, when he ate a bite of the pie, it would all come together. Then, he wanted not just the crumble crust but a pastry crust as well. He swore that that’s how his mother made it. Lord, never let it be said that I couldn’t make a pie just like his mother did!
So, I put a pastry crust on and then the crumble crust. I can’t imagine making a pie that way, but I had already made a few “Alterations,” so what harm could it do? When I put it in the oven I noticed it weighed just short of a ton. When the time was up and I sat it out to cool, it didn’t look all that bad. Well, the telling moment came when my husband cut a slice. I watched his face to make sure I had pulled off the whole project. His face looked a little funny, and his eyes may have bugged out a bit, but all he said…well, uh, it doesn’t seem quite sweet enough. “Oh!” I said. “It’s probably those apples. Who knows what kind they were?” He then declared the pie as delicious. Well, now, by the end of the day I noted that he had not eaten one more bite of that pie. This just isn’t like him. Then today, I opened the fridge to get some eggs, and there was my prize pie with aluminum foil over the top. I lifted the edge of the foil to see if he had eaten any more, and there was still only that one sliver that was there the day before missing. Humph! I thought. Here I go making him a pie from scratch and he leaves it practically untouched. I know him! The next thing I will see is it sitting in the garbage can, and he will claim that he didn’t eat it fast enough and it will surely have turned bad. I know why God made iron skillets. If only I had one now I could whack him in the head when he isn’t looking!
Do any of my Waynedale friends have an apple pie recipe that works??
Mae Julian
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