‘The Union’ Packs In Cliches: At The Movies With Kasey
I do not understand Netflix’s budgetary decisions. They produce and release so much content that it is hard to keep up. For example, recently, they added a new four-part series about Laci Peterson and the exquisite documentary Daughters alongside more Emily in Paris and a big-budget action movie with an all-star cast. Did they spend so much on fashion and movie stars that they underpay writers? Because The Union wastes the talent of its cast on a screenplay that feels like it was written by ChatGPT.
The Union stars Mark Wahlberg as Mike, a construction worker roped into a mission for a top-secret group of spies, The Union, by his long-lost girlfriend, Roxanne (Halle Berry). J.K. Simmons also stars as the ringleader of the intelligence operation.
This is a camel of a movie with a plot that feels like a panel of writers just crammed every action movie cliche they could into the screenplay. The Union is unpardonably bad. It barely hangs together and is so boring that it is hard to commit the mental energy to tracking the beats of the story. I was lost, but I did not even care. Then, on top of the genre slop, we are asked to believe that after not seeing each other for twenty-five years, Mike is outraged that Roxanne had a life and other relationships. Maybe it would be easier to believe that theirs was some great, devastating romance if Berry and Wahlberg had any chemistry whatsoever. The movie is less than two hours long and I checked five times to see how much longer I had to sit through it.
This movie is the type of bad production that makes you wonder if the people making it knew it was terrible when they were working on it. Did they read the screenplay and shrug, “At least I’ll get paid”? Did they think Berry and Wahlberg had chemistry on set and it just did not translate? I was shocked to learn that they have been friends for decades. Did the writers bank on the actors’ charm to make up for a weak story?
Halle Berry has an incredible talent. Mark Wahlberg is okay. I am not sure why J.K. Simmons is in this movie at all. There are so many other things to do with your time, I do not recommend watching this movie. Go for a walk instead.
The Union was written by Joe Barton and David Guggenheim and directed by Julian Farino. It runs 107 minutes and is rated PG-13.
For a much more satisfying film, also featuring lifelong friends, I watched Babes, starring Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau. I missed its short run in theaters earlier this summer but was excited to see its release for rental on Amazon and Fandango. Babes focuses on inseparable best friends, Eden (Glazer) and Dawn (Buteau), whose relationship is forced to evolve after Eden becomes pregnant during a surprisingly poignant, brief romance with Claude (Stephen James), a man she met on the subway. As Dawn and her husband, Marty (Hasan Minhaj), struggle to deal with the challenges of parenting their own two small children, Eden copes with building a family on her own.
Although the synopsis sounds tender and heartwarming, much of Babes is really a gross-out comedy centered on maternal bodies. The jokes highlight some of the more absurd and—how do I phrase this?—messy elements of reproduction, while still managing to celebrate the miracle of birth. Bridesmaids ran so Babes could sprint. There are many whimsical, cringe-worthy, and awkward gags in the film, but also a story about an evolving female friendship that highlights how important women’s relationships with each other are through different phases of life.
The comedy and the love in the story radiate through because of the real-life chemistry between Glazer and Buteau, who have been friends for years. Their performances highlight the raw, difficult emotions each woman faces, but when they are together the silliness they emote makes those heavier moments hit harder. Elena Ouspenskaia, as Eden’s scary doula, also makes a funny counterpart to her endearing OBGYN, played by John Carroll Lynch.
In early sections, the screenplay tries too hard to be gross or edgy and maybe over- explains how the accidental pregnancy happened, but once the story settles in, Glazer’s vulnerable depiction of Eden had me rooting for her and thinking about the joys and challenges of motherhood and how it asks a person to grow.
Babes was written by Ilana Glazer and Josh Rabinowitz and directed by Pamela Adlon. It runs 104 minutes and is rated R.
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