SWEET TWEET – Schindler Sez

If you follow the herd, sooner or later your shoes are going to stink as bad as your decision to follow the herd.

The Big Wiener
Tyson Foods is buying Hillshire Brands, (the maker of Ball Park hot dogs and other products), for over 8 billion dollars. One might say that even though Tyson will be the surviving company…the Hillshire owners and stockholders will be the real wieners!

Sweet Tweet
Little Drewsie was sitting in church,
He was full of gas,
He couldn’t hold it any longer,
So he let it pass.

The Devil was there tempting sinners,
When he got the scent,
He could stand the heat but not the smell,
So out of the church he went.

To the little church upon a hill,
It smelled so nice and sweet,
He liked it there very much,
Cause they don’t tootle…they tweet!

The second Yogi Berra award of the year, goes to another TV announcer who said, “Schools are safer when not in session.”

The Redskins
The Washington Redskins will probably drop “Washington,” from their name because it’s too embarrassing.
The Net

Housewarming
Stan Colligan, my insurance agent, asked me when I was going to move into our new home.
“Not for a couple of weeks.”
“I can’t wait for the housewarming party,” he said, smiling with anticipation.
“The only housewarming I’m going to have,” I answered, “is when I turn the thermostat up.”

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Jim Schindler

A graduate of John Carroll University and a successful businessman, the founder/ CEO of Bandido's Mexican restaurants. Jim writes the "Schindler Sez" column in the newspaper. He also authors a series of books of short, true, and humorous stories. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer