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DENTIST – Home Country

Those of us who call this little valley home have a unique blessing in the form of Perry, our dentist. Yes, when we go to get the fangs fixed up at O’Dontall Dental, down in the old brick building near the office of the Valley Weekly Miracle, the grinding and scraping and numbing and lip shaking is accompanied by…well…acting.

You see Perry worked his way through dental school by treading the boards…acting on stage, that is. When all was said and done and he received his final mouth mirror, he’d become a darn fine dentist, and could quote Shakespeare and others at the drop of a hat. And he’d even drop the hat for you.

It was like that for Dud recently, when he went in for his six-month check-up and polish job.

“Ah, Dudley,” Perry said, peering into his mouth, “the years have favored you kindly in the mouth department. Very little cleaning to do.”

“Ahhhks,” Dud said.

“You’re welcome. Here’s a scraper on number six, however. I can only say, as I scrape…out, that damned spot! Leave and take with thee the spectre of decay! Begone and tarry no more to add to the misery of my boon companion!”
Dr. O’Dontall sometimes uses his native Irish accent to emphasize things, as well.

“‘Tis brushing after every meal you be, Dudley, my eyes tell me true…”

“That’s right fine, lad, right fine. And thanking you kindly for years to come your mouth will be, for efforts now lead to years of chewing free…”

“Ahhhks,” Dud mumbled.

“You’re welcome.”

Perry doesn’t even charge extra for this.
Brought to you by the award-winning book Home Country, available at nmsantos.com/.

Slim Randles
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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer