Author: Vince LaBarbera

Original Leisure & Entertainment

SHOULDA WOULDA COULDA

As the coronavirus pandemic continues to affect the daily lives of us all, we may be asked to continue social distancing, only occasionally venturing out for groceries and necessities. Gatherings with family, relatives and friends may still be limited as will attending religious services, dining out, social engagements, movies, concerts and sporting events.

As we look back on our on-going confinement and stay-at-home practices we may express some form of the “Shoulda Woulda Coulda” song by Beverley Knight released in 2002. We might already be thinking we “shoulda woulda coulda” be using our time more productively.

At first, we all probably welcomed the opportunity to get things done around the house – chores we’ve put off because there never was enough time to get to them during our busy work-a-day life and even retirement activities. You know what I’m referring to – that hall closet, chest of drawers, storage trunk, basement, garage, attic, and so forth, that is messy or full of junk! Items we ment to go through years ago but just haven’t been able to get around to.

Well, here many of us still are with more than enough time on our hands to get to it! So how are you doing? Are you managing to get some of those put-off items completed? Or are you saying you “shoulda woulda coulda” if you were more ambitious and better organized during your stay-at-home time?
My wife, Marty, and I started out like a house-a-fire doing spring cleaning with a vengeance. There was yard work to do when the weather cooperated, closets to clean out, repainting, redecorating, defrosting the freezer, catching up on those put-off projects and even creating some new ones just to be doing something constructive. My wife – who normally is a great cook – became even more ambitious in the kitchen and created some delightful dishes. I resumed exercises long neglected but now necessary since I was gaining weight from eating too much. We both tried to walk our dogs several times a week to benefit both their health and ours. Our two dogs, incidentally, have been in seventh heaven throughout our confinement since we seldom leave the house except to go for a ride, dogs included. Afterall, gas is cheap!

In fact, quarantine has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day long looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we really get excited about car rides.

Speaking of being together, not since the days of Adam and Eve have spouses, children and perhaps pets spent so much time together in one space. At least our first parents had a large garden in which to roam. Yet, this is a perfect time for families to get to know each other, to talk and really listen. And more importantly, to truly love and care for one other!
However, as I’m sure many of you can relate, we’ve grown a little lazy in our day-to-day activities. It’s so nice to sleep in; after all there are no appointments to keep, schedules to follow or activities in which to engage. Our calendar has X’s on nearly every day. There still are some things to do, but as the days and weeks endlessly pass, we’ve grown a little lax in our efforts.

And if you’re searching for more things to read, you know those old books on your shelves with beautifully bound covers so attractive look at? Well, check them out! I’ll bet you’ll find some classics to peruse again. Works like The Plays of William Shakespeare, Emmerson’s Essays, Vanity Fair, War and Peace, The Iliad, Crime and Punishment, Gone with the Wind and more. This time around you don’t have to write a book report about it or, worse yet, give an oral report!

For our own sanity we’ve got to look for ways to keep ourselves occupied and our minds functioning. The trouble with doing nothing is not knowing when you’re finished. Maybe now is the time to begin writing a journal or diary, practicing yoga, exercising more, reading the Bible, or setting aside quiet time daily for meditation or prayer.

Distance yourself from any emotional vampires who suggest you play the game of “shoulda woulda coulda.” Refocus yourself on the now and know you have the power to improve upon the present even if it’s still in your home for quite a while yet with too much time on your hands. Focus on being alone – together. Because by staying apart, for now, we stay together.
Let’s conclude with a work written in 1869 by Kathleen O’Mara and reportedly reprinted during the Spanish Flu Pandemic, 1919:

And people stayed at home, And read books, And listened, And they rested, And did exercises,
And made art and played, And learned new ways of being, And stopped and listened more deeply.
Someone meditated, Someone prayed, Someone met their shadow, And people began to think differently, And people healed.
And in the absence of people who lived in ignorant ways, Dangerous, meaningless and heartless, The earth also began to heal, And when the danger ended and people found themselves, They grieved for the dead, And made new choices, And dreamed of new visions, And created new ways of living.
And completely healed the earth, Just as they were healed.

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HOLY SMOKE

I lost a childhood friend on Jan. 13. His name was Allen Shepard. Many of you may have met him since he was the paint expert at Connolly’s Do It Best Hardware on South Calhoun Street. And if you did meet him you would know he was a kind, gentle soul. To paraphrase Paul Simon, he was my “long lost pal” and “You Can Call (Him) Al.”

Although small in stature Al was the big brother I never had. Together, we learned to play carroms, checkers and chess. We even developed our own “Morris Code” to signal each other by flashlight through our bedroom windows from homes on different streets separated by an alley in between. Al taught me to box, wrestle, and much to my Dad’s dismay, how to drive.

Al was two grades above me at Cathedral Elementary School in downtown Fort Wayne. He helped me learn my Latin as I became an altar boy — server or acolyte if you will — at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. Back then the Catholic Mass was in Latin and the server represented the congregation, reciting prayers (in Latin) in answer to the priest celebrant of the Mass.

I’m thinking about this now in particular since the Season of Lent will be ending for several prominent religious denominations prior to Easter Sunday on April 12. Some of these same religions including Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Anglican, Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches used incense during Lenten religious services for the past month and may also use it during the Easter Season. And that reminds me of three rather humorous incidents that happened to me involving the use of incense. Please bear with me as we provide some background about what some reverentially call “holy smoke.”

The use of incense in religious worship predates Christianity by thousands of years. The word “incense” is derived from the Latin incendere, which means “to burn.” It is commonly used as a noun to describe aromatic matter that releases fragrant smoke when ignited, to describe the smoke itself and as a verb to describe the process of distributing the smoke.

Incense is made from resins and gums of specific plants, which when burned, produce fragrant smoke. Historically, just about every culture has used it for medicinal and spiritual purposes. Native Americans, for instance, used it in healing and purification rituals. Documented evidence also indicates that incense, especially frankincense, was an important trade product for 1,500 years among ancient Persians, Assyrians, Egyptians, Babylonians and Romans. Reportedly, they valued it more than gold and silver.

The censor, also known as the thurible, holds a piece of burning charcoal. The boat (presumably named as such because many vessels are shaped like a boat) holds the incense before it is placed in the censor by the celebrant or minister. The scent and sight of ascending clouds of smoke is supposed to alert the congregants of God’s presence, help put them in contact with God and send their prayers up to heaven.

After Al and others helped me learn acolyte duties for the Mass I was assigned to serve at a funeral. That’s panic-Ville for an eight-year-old youngster. I was given the boat and told to open the lid after the funeral Mass only when the priest was about to incense the earthly remains of the decedent (in a closed casket, thankfully). Oh my gosh! All those people watching and some were crying! But Al, who was holding the censor, said not to worry because he would tell me when it was my time. And he did just that, elbowing me and whispering, “Flip your lid!” It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. But I’m sure the mourners saw me grinning and trying to stifle a laugh.

For a subsequent funeral I was put in charge of the censor. Admittedly, I didn’t watch Al closely enough because instead of holding the vessel by its chain, I placed it in the palm of my left hand. As the old Monsignor slowly spooned incense onto the red-hot charcoal I suddenly yelled “Ouch!” and dropped the censor from my burning hand. It hit the floor in a shower of sparks as the horrified clergy and congregation looked on. No one was laughing, especially me!

The final incident happened many years later when our family attended a Holy Week liturgy. Our youngest child, Christy, was still in preschool. As the server passed by our pew swinging the censor back-and-forth, she asked, “What’s that?” My wife, Marty quickly shushed her and whispered, “I’ll tell you later!” That didn’t satisfy our precocious daughter. She demanded, “What is that!” Again, my wife whispered, “Tell you later!” By now everyone around us was aware of what was happening. Finally, Christy said out loud, “What is that!” Marty then said emphatically, “Incense!” To which Christy replied astonishingly, “Insects?!”

The liturgy was well underway before the snickering subsided. Al would have enjoyed that one!

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SHOULD WE ‘BEWARE OF THE IDES OF MARCH’?

The month of March contains some events which to look forward, namely, St. Patrick’s Day on the 17th for those who enjoy being “Irish” for a day and the first full day of spring — the Vernal Equinox — on the 19th when you can try to stand a raw egg on its end that day.

But if you’re into observing and even celebrating all kinds of anniversaries you can circle several other memorial events on your March calendar. They include: Alexander Graham Bell’s birthday in 1847 on the 3rd and his patent for the telephone in 1876 on the 7th. Since March is the windy month, don’t forget to celebrate Chinook Wind Day on the 12th. And talking about birthdays earlier, you could celebrate Albert Einstein’s on the 14th. He would be the ripe old age of 141. The first book – the Gutenberg Bible – was printed on the 22nd in 1457 and the spoon was invented on the 23rd in 19,000 B.C.

Speaking of ancient dates, the first zoo was founded on the 27th in China in 2000 B.C. and “Respect Your Cat Day” is observed on the 28th in England by the royal edit of Richard II in 1384 condemning cat eating. Ugh!

But what about the “Ides of March,” which occurs on the 15th, and we’re warned to “Beware”? Even if you relied on Cliff Notes or something else to get through Shakespeare in English class, you probably have some memory of a soothsayer warning Julius Caesar to “Beware the Ides of March.” First of all, to ask a practical question: What is/are Ides? And what exactly does “Ides of March” mean?

According to Wikipedia, the word is derived from the Latin verb iduare, which Scientific American defines as to divide. Ides bisect a month in the Roman calendar. Thus, the infamous “Ides of March” comes every year on March 15 and was a marker day used to divide the month into two. Months of the Roman calendar were arranged around three named days — the Kalends (first day of the month), the Nones (7th day in March, May, July and October; 5th in the other months) and the Ides (15th day in March, May, July and October; 13th in the other months). All these days were reference points from which the other (unnamed) days were calculated. Confused? Me too!

The expression “Beware the Ides of March” is first found in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, 1601. The line is the soothsayer’s message to Caesar, warning of his death. The Ides of March didn’t signify anything special in itself. In Shakespeare’s day it was just the usual way of saying “March 15th.” And since each month has an Ides (often the 15th), this date wasn’t significant in being associated with death prior to 1601. But on March 15 in 44 B.C., Shakespeare’s Caesar character was assassinated and so began its history as a day to lay low. The notion of the Ides being a dangerous date was purely an invention of Shakespeare’s.

(Note: Caesar didn’t “Beware the Ides of March,” and thus met his demise to the sharpened knives of literal and figurative backstabbers — including his best friend Marcus Brutus. Et tu, Brute?)

Although the brutally murdered Roman Emperor should have heeded warnings about the cursed “Ides of March” in 44 B.C., do we modern-day commoners have any cause for concern since the Ides of March just means the 15th of a month in the Roman calendar? According to the Farmer’s Almanac, in ancient times, the Ides of March also marked the first full moon of the year, which Romans celebrated with feasts and sacrifices in honor of the god Jupiter. So, unless you were livestock, the day was relatively inauspicious.

But even though it has been 2,064 years since Caesar was assassinated in 44 B.C. people are still wary of this fateful day. And, unfortunately, there have been some other momentous events that have occurred throughout history on March 15. For example:

Between 1918 and 1955, the Ides of March marked tax day in the United States

On March 15, 1938, Nazi Germany invaded Czechoslovakia
In 1941, a blizzard killed more than 150 people in Minnesota and North Dakota

The Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization issued warnings for SARS, a deadly type of pneumonia, in 2003

And in the vein of a Roman revolution, protests erupted in Syria on March 15, 2011, that led to the beginning of the country’s civil war

But, some good things have been known to occur on the Ides of March, too, including: the founding of Rolls Royce in 1906, President Lyndon B.

Johnson’s call for equal voting rights in a speech to a joint Congressional session in 1965 and the premiere of The Godfather in 1972.

While we don’t know if March 15, 2020, will hold any historical or wary events, one thing is for certain: The Ides of March will bring lots of Caesar salad puns. (Reportedly, Brutus also slipped some poisonous hemlock leaves onto Julius’ salad.) But you would have to be “Mad as a March Hare” to worry about the Ides of March. What does that phrase mean? Maybe next year.

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CELEBRATE THE SPECIAL, WACKY DAYS OF FEBRUARY

February is the third and last month of the meteorological winter in the Northern Hemisphere. And, even though there are 29 days in the month because of leap year, February is the only month of the year that can pass without a single full moon. So, it’s going to be dark outside!

For those of us in the Midwest hoping for an early spring, it looks like you may be out of luck despite what Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil has to say on Feb. 2. Chilly conditions are expected to continue for areas east of the Rockies as we head into February. And, according to the Weather Company’s Chief Meteorologist Dr. Todd Crawford, “We originally expected a spell of much warmer temperatures during late January, but it now appears that this will not occur, as another cold spell will set in as we head into February.”

So, if you’re stuck in the cold, dark recesses of your home, keep in mind that February is “Creative Romance Month” and “Great American Pie Month.”

(Take your choice!) In addition, here’s some daily bizarre and unique February holidays from www.holidayinsights.com (with a few added editorial comments by yours truly in parenthesis) you can use to celebrate each day just to brighten up your existence:

Feb. 1 – Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day (try it, you may like it; there’s probably a bacon flavor)
Feb. 2 – Groundhog Day (“The Shadow knows!”) (It’s also Super Bowl LIV in Miami)
Feb. 3 – Feed the Birds Day (good to do every day)
Feb. 4 – Thank a Mailman Day (make that “Mail Carrier” to be gender correct!)
Feb. 5 – National Weatherman’s Day (again, let’s call it Weather Forecaster’s instead)
Feb. 6 – National Chopsticks Day (might take the day to learn how to use them)
Feb. 7 – Send a Card to a Friend Day (obviously created by a card company)
Feb. 8 – Kite Flying Day (in the middle of winter?)
Feb. 9 – National Pizza Day and Toothache Day (your choice)
Feb. 10 – Clean out Your Computer Day (not sure how to do that!)
Feb. 11 – Make a Friend Day (good advice)
Feb. 12 – Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday (we used to get the day off from work)
Feb. 13 – Get a Different Name Day (unless you like your given name)
Feb. 14 – Valentine’s Day and Ferris Wheel Day (again, in the middle of winter?)
Feb. 15 – National Gum Drop Day (should have been paired with Toothache Day)
Feb. 16 – Do a Grouch a Favor Day (ought to keep us busy)
Feb. 17 – Random Acts of Kindness Day and President’s Day (some do get the day off)
Feb. 18 – National Drink Wine Day (finally!)
Feb. 19 – National Chocolate Mint Day (to cover up the alcohol on your breath?)
Feb. 20 – Love Your Pet Day and Cherry Pie Day (you can choose both)
Feb. 21 – Card Reading Day (if you remembered to thank the Mail Carrier on Feb. 4)
Feb. 22 – George Washington’s Birthday (used to get this day off, too)
Feb. 23 – Oscar Night (date varies)
Feb. 24 – National Tortilla Chip Day (add your favorite sauce)
Feb. 25 – Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday Day (date varies)
Feb. 26 – National Pistachio Day (nuts to that!)
Feb. 27 – No Brainer Day (everyone’s invited)
Feb. 28 – Public Sleeping Day (if you can find a warm, private spot)
Feb. 29 – Leap Year (discover a way to celebrate, especially if it’s your birthday!)

A final word about February: The name of the month is derived from the Latin word “februs” meaning, “to cleanse.” The month was named after the Roman Festival, Februalia, a month-long festival of purification and atonement involving offerings to the gods, prayer and sacrifices. If you were a wealthy Roman who didn’t have to go out and work, you could literally spend the entire month of February in prayer and meditation, atoning for your misdeeds during the other eleven months of the year.

Doesn’t sound nearly as fun as celebrating the above wacky days of February.

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WHAT’S IN STORE FOR US IN 2020?

It’s hard to believe we’re living in the year 2020 (MMXX)! It’s a leap year in the Gregorian calendar containing 366 days with February 29 as the extra day. It’s also an Olympic year with summer games in Tokyo. This new year, in fact, is marked with great significance.

The expression “20/20” is so commonplace in the United States there’s even been a TV newsmagazine named after it since 1978. The show’s name and other references derive from the “20/20” measurement of visual acuity. By looking at lots of people, eye doctors decided what a “normal” human being should be able to see when standing 20 feet away from an eye chart. If you have 20/20 vision, it means when you stand 20 feet away from the chart you can see what the “normal” human being can see. There’s also the saying that “hindsight is 20/20” meaning when you look back at things in the past, because you have the benefit of knowing the future so to speak, you can see what you couldn’t see back when you made your initial decision.

Not since 1919, have we had a double-digit year. And there won’t be another one until 2121 – 101 years from now.

Was 1919 a good double-digit year? Many historians today summarize 1919 as one of the worst years in 20th century American history. World War I was over and most Americans were eager for peace and security; however, 1919 would prove to be anything but. Revolution and unrest ran rampant across Europe and North America, and the Flu Pandemic continued in the U.S. from the prior year with a third brutal wave in the spring that took the lives of 185,440 people. Terrorist bombings shocked seven U.S. cities in June, the first of a series of “Red Scares” began when the government passed an act that blacklisted anyone thought to be involved with communism, race riots rocked the nation and hundreds of workers went on strike across the country. The adoption of constitutional amendments giving women the vote and establishing Prohibition denoted the high-water mark of the moral impulses of the Progressive era.

In addition, voters grew disillusioned during the Woodrow Wilson years, with many feeling the President and the Progressives went too far, alienating people from the government. And even though WWI had ended, anxious citizens questioned the reasons and results of the war.

Even in the sports world, on Oct. 9, 1919, the first major scandal in Major League Baseball — and to this day, the worst – occurred when nine players from the Chicago White Sox threw the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds. It is forever known as the Black Sox Scandal with players, such as immortal Shoeless Joe Jackson, banned from the game and Hall of Fame forever.

On a brighter note, dial telephones were introduced by the American Telephone and Telegraph Company with the first rotary dial telephones in the Bell System installed in Norfolk, Virginia. The pop-up toaster, short wave radios and arc welders also were invented in the U.S.

After looking at 1919, the year 2020 seems futuristic and awesome. A century ago, no one could have predicted it would kick off a half century of unprecedented productivity.

Current future forecasters say 2020 will include driverless cars becoming mainstream. But while that idea still seems like science fiction, experts predict there will be 10 million of them on the road in 2020. And, are we ready for moon mining with maybe robotic moon bases, chips implanted in our brains and a high-speed rail linking London to Beijing? According to a dazzling number of technology predictions that single out the year 2020, it may be one heck of a year! Let’s take a look at what some prognosticators say are some of the other wonders that may be in store for us in the new year.

Predictors say there’s no technological reason why Japan shouldn’t be able to move forward with its ambitious plan to build a robotic lunar outpost in 2020 — built by robots, for robots. And the U.S. military has pledged to get half its energy from renewable resources this year. Universal translation will be commonplace in mobile devices, there will be advances in artificial organs and 3D-video conferencing, while a $1,000 computer will have the processing power of the human brain. And once we have such a computer, can we build a complete synthetic human brain from scratch? Researchers at Switzerland’s Blue Brain Project think so.

In 2020, forecasters also predict world sales of electric vehicles will reach 6,600,000; solar energy will become more economical than regular electricity in more than half of the U.S., more people, in fact, will own a phone than have electricity; and the world’s population is forecasted to reach 7,758,156,000.

Finally, here are some hilarious predictions about the year 2020 that at some point in time, people really expected to happen: We’ll have personal helicopters, live in flying houses, all roads will become tubes, nobody will work because everyone will be rich, mail will be sent via rocket, we’ll be able to vote electronically from home, have robots as therapists, everyone will be a vegetarian and we’ll finally make it to Mars.

We would not go as far as to say that future is now, but the potential is undeniably there.

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HEY, SANTA, WHAT’S IN YOUR SACK FOR US OLDER FOLKS?

When we’re young – that is, before retirement – there seems to be plenty of goodies in Santa’s bag to satisfy even the pickiest present person.

For youngsters and teens, it’s any gizmo that’s electronic, especially if it’s a gadget fresh off the market and unlike what any of their friends may have.

For young and middle-age adults, it’s something fashionable and trendy – anything that says they’re up-to-date and engaged in pursuit of what it takes to be popular, successful and having the “right stuff” when it comes to education, experience, a career and prestige.

But what about those of us who are retired? Most of us don’t want or need the latest cell phone or electronic what-cha-ma-call-it that’s going to frustrate the heck out of us in trying to work it. And if we haven’t got grandchildren handy to teach us how to operate the device, forget it!

After retirement, who cares what we did or didn’t do in school, on our job, or in the community. We might hang on to some of our accomplishments for awhile but eventually we’re going to find ourselves left behind, forgotten and “on the shelf,” so to speak.

Am I being too negative about aging and retirement? But let’s face it. All those things we used to be so concerned about and engaged in are fading into the distance. The advancements being made in the job or career we left behind are passing us by day after day. The connections we had in our community when we needed to know something are changing as well. Ever try to find a business or a person’s address in the phone book? Ever try to find a phone book?

When we used to get together with friends we talked about our job, our children’s school activities and their future, our plans for a larger house, a bigger car, new appliances and lawn equipment, vacations to exotic places and experiences. Now when we gather with those long-time friends we talk about our health, our doctors, our surgeries and those whom we know who are not doing well.

When we travel somewhere, attend an event or engage in any activity, it seems as though everyone is passing us by. We don’t drive and walk as fast, hear and see as well or think and react as quickly as when we were younger.

What can Santa put in our Christmas stocking that will help us older folks achieve increased happiness and fulfillment?

The first gift we need is hope. Hope is what gets us up every morning and moves our feet through each day. Hope is the courage to dream and the wisdom that helps us heal. Hope is a light in the darkness. It’s positive thinking, giving us confidence that most things are going to turn out alright.

Hope is not negative, it’s optimistic. Hope is seeing the glass half-full, even if it contains Ensure. When we are hopeful, we look with anticipation on the bright side of events in our life. We live confidently and unafraid of what the future may bring.

Next, we need charity. While it’s often called love, charity is more than a subjective feeling or even an objective action of the will toward other people. It’s a virtue, which means being more generous with our time, treasure and talent. Charity allows us to give freely without expecting anything in return. We mentioned above that being retired means we’re out of the rat race, so to speak. Most of us, hopefully, don’t need to concern ourselves as much with making a living, getting ahead or raising a family.

We need to look for areas around us where we can give of our time and talent, such as volunteering at a soup kitchen, visiting residents in nursing homes and friends in the hospital. Donations and volunteers are needed everywhere from animal shelters, charities and community centers. It seems that in our busy lives nowadays many of us have forgotten how to appreciate and empathize with others. And when we volunteer our services, we move away from only thinking of ourselves.

Thirdly, I think we need the gift of making good choices. Happiness is a choice, not a trait. We ourselves elect to be happy and content, helping bring fulfillment into our lives. If we visualize the things that worked well in the past, we can apply them to help us find happiness in the future.

By the way, whether you call him St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle or just plain Santa, he’s not just going to pass out these gifts to us on Christmas morning. We’ve got to reach into his bag of goodies and take them for ourselves.

Finally, despite what I said earlier about avoiding electronic gadgets and new technology, let us be open to changes and learn new ways of doing things. Change happens every minute of the day. Happy and fulfilled people embrace change instead of trying to fight against it.

Nevertheless, let us vow this New Year’s Eve to keep our grandchildren’s phone numbers handy, just in case!

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