MAE JULIAN
Dear Readers,
My heart is as broken as yours over the accident at Duke University Hospital. A beautiful young girl and her family were shattered by the news that the blood type that was in the heart and lungs transplanted into her was the wrong type. This meant, of course, that she would not live.
I think all of us in medicine shudder when we hear of things like this, and we think of the times in our own lives when the finger could have been pointed at us. For me, I was thinking of when we did the first artificial heart and I was on a double shift with 6 others in the patient’s room. We were losing blood fast and in my haste, I pushed the piercer into the blood bag and didn’t get it secure. Blood came pouring out all over my upturned face and down my neck and chest. More blood was called for and I kept my composure, but my memory keeps it in storage. Accidents.
I heard when I was in school that that’s why erasers are put on pencils. But if you work in medicine, the tragedy that comes from accidents means harm or death in many circumstances. When I worked for EMS, I was dispatched Code 3 to Taylor Blvd. I mistakenly went to Taylor Ave. I realized my mistake when the house numbers didn’t go up that far. Correcting the mistake and going to the right destination was probably a major contributing factor to the loss of the patient. He died enroute of congestive heart failure. That was bad, but what almost dropped me to my knees was when I got a letter from his wife, addressed to EMS and she thanked my partner and me for all we did and sent each of us a dollar. It was crushing to know that she did not know that I was largely responsible for his death. I went to a church after work and dropped off the dollar to the minister without explanation. Some things you have no words for.
Once, while working in CCU, I mistakenly dialed an IV setting with one digit off. When I saw the artifact on the monitor I went into the room to find the patient seizing. I checked everything quickly and found my mistake. Turning off the Lidocaine drip took care of the problem. If you work ANYPLACE you will be able to wind your mind back and recall stupid mistakes, hurried mistakes, honest mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless. It is part of being human and a lot of us beat ourselves up when these things happen.
I am so sad about the situation at Duke. I know how if feels to have someone’s life in your hands and to screw up. I also know that when you have a finger pointing at someone else there are three more pointing back at you. I learned that from my brother John, who forgives faults of others, because, he says, he has so many himself.
I was reluctant to write these sentiments for this edition of The Waynedale News. The people who made the mistake, or the person who made the mistake, did not intentionally do it. I hate to read reports that are critical and demeaning, because I know how it feels to make a mistake that can result in a life lost. I also know the triumph of saving lives. It’s funny, how, in the end, all the good you did somehow wasn’t enough, because perfection isn’t possible. None of us know at the time of this writing what the facts are in the Duke University case. All I can say is God Bless little Jesica and her family, and to know that all involved were innocent at heart. It’s a mistake. As hard as it is to absorb, it was a mistake.
Bless all my Waynedale readers,
Mae
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