ONLY TEN BUCKS A HEAD FOR GOLF TOURNAMENT – Home Country

October 9, 2015 Slim Randles

In honor of his entirely fictional pet squirrel, Doc is calling the annual golf tournament the Chipper Invitational this year. He’s thinking of making that a permanent name for his invention, the most unusual golf tournament in history.

Oh, you remember how it began, when Doc decided to raise money each fall to buy winter coats for some of the local kids who can’t afford them? And one of the things this valley has never had is a golf course. But that didn’t slow Doc down. With the laughing consent of two farmers whose land abutted each other, Doc got busy. He took a shovel and some long sticks and laid out an 18-hole golf course in less than two hours.

He’d dig a hole and put a long stick next to it. Then he’d walk a while and do it again. He did this eighteen times and the course was ready. On the day of the big tournament each fall, the farmers moved their cattle to a safe pasture away from the possibility of deadly golf balls, and the fun was on.

Doc charges ten bucks a head for the tournament, almost every able-bodied person in the valley plays, and the kids got winter coats. Not a bad deal.

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So this year, in honor of Chipper the non-existent pet squirrel, Doc laid out the course up by the forest. The hazards of this year’s course included an elk wallow, a rock face the size of a library and a thicket of manzanita that a mouse couldn’t penetrate.

Mrs. Doc and Anita got together and made a clay statue of the mythical squirrel sitting up chewing a nut for use as a perpetual trophy for the winner. They put a little engraved brass plate on it that reads, “Chipper Invitational Golf Tournament …dedicated to the nuts in the valley.”

We wonder, also, if Doc benefits any from the sale of golf balls down at the dry goods store.

Brought to you by Home Country Hour, where you can hear Windy Wilson, among others, at www.slimrandles.com.

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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award.

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