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DEWEY’S MANURE BUSINESS IS POPPIN’ – Home Country

Slim Randles

Doc saw Dewey the other day, supervising as Windy Wilson unloaded a dump truck of manure into a huge bin on a vacant lot.

“I’ll go persecute some more, Dewey,” Windy said, and drove off toward the feedlot.

Well, Doc had to ask.

“It’s simple, Doc,” said Dewey, the pharaoh of fertilizer. “We needed more product, and the feedlot needed a lot more cleaning, so the company bought that dump truck and a skip loader and Windy’s driving it for me.”

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Dewey Decker can’t handle machinery. We all know that, and finally, so does Dewey. He’s the most accident-prone guy in the valley. He once got his dad’s pickup truck stuck in a mud hole … during a drought. And no one but Dewey could herd a cow into the top of a tree. So when his lady love, Emily Stickles (she of the magnificent cheekbones and kind heart) became acting chief financial officer of Dewey’s manure-shoveling business, things started to pop.

“The Company” not only owned the dump truck and skip loader, but has a tank on a trailer with a sprayer on the back for “cow pasture tea,” or liquid fertilizer. Then there are the fishing worms … oh yes, genuine red wigglers … now sold in every bait shop in the county. And special bags of worm castings sold at a higher price than regular fertilizer, for indoor plants.

This large bin on Dewey’s leased vacant lot, Doc discovered, would soon be full of raw product and then thousands of red wigglers who would then transmogrify the product into worm castings while multiplying and making fishermen ecstatic from coast to coast… well, from here to the next county, anyway.

Dewey fidgeted a bit and then excused himself. He walked to his pickup, took out a shovel and scooped up some product that had fallen outside the bin, and expertly tossed it in.

Then he grinned at Doc, sheepishly. “Got to keep my hand in, Doc. You know.”

Listen to Home Country the podcast: music, laughter and more. starworldwidenetworks.com/.

Slim Randles
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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer