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A verbal agreement isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Toronto can’t a-Ford him
Rob Ford, mayor of Toronto, admitted smoking crack cocaine. He also admitted he had a drinking problem. When asked if would resign he said, after an (expletive deleted) tirade, “I’m not perfect…”

Well, Mr. Ford, it’s apparent to everyone that you’re no Henry! It also seems you’ve got more problems than Obama, which I doubt if either of you will ever be able to solve.

Where are they when you when I need them?
The National Security Agency and the FBI have tapped into the major internet companies to get personal information on U.S. citizens.

(That means us.)
Gee, I wonder if they can tell me if I took my medication this morning, because I sure as hell can’t remember!

The Fruitcakes
A fruitcake basically is a cake made with chopped candied fruit, dried fruit, nuts and spices. Then it is soaked in rum or other spirits and usually served at Christmas time.

For hundreds of years it was quite popular, but in the mid-nineteen hundreds it fell out of favor for three reasons. First, the art of making delicious fruitcakes seems to have been lost, which affected sales. Secondly, when Johnny Carson made fun of fruitcakes on his TV show, sales tanked. And thirdly, when the word fruitcake took on new meanings, such as a nut, weirdo, eccentric, oddball and other names, which I can’t use for fear of offending my publishers. However, fruitcakes do make life more interesting. Why, I’ll bet you even know a few…believe, me I do!

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Jim Schindler

A graduate of John Carroll University and a successful businessman, the founder/ CEO of Bandido's Mexican restaurants. Jim writes the "Schindler Sez" column in the newspaper. He also authors a series of books of short, true, and humorous stories. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer