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MR. A – Home Country

There are some who say Jim Albertson, our school principal, sometimes goes a bit too far, but when asked, they can’t really say why. Ask one of the students at the school about “Mr. A.” and they’ll tell you in a whisper that he’s everywhere … and knows everything.

Just yesterday, one of the school’s biggest bullies, Butch Peterson, was sent for. He reported to the principal’s office and sat in the waiting room. For 15 minutes. Butch knew it was because Mr. A. was preparing a firing squad in the inner office and they couldn’t find enough ammunition. He’d know for sure it was doom if Mr. A. called him by his last name …

“Mr. Peterson …” he said, beckoning Butch inside. Butch was pointed to The Chair in front of Mr. A.’s desk. He sat. Mr. A. looked at him as if deciding which vital organ to remove first, then turned his back on him and looked out the window.

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you why you’re in here today.”

He spun around and stared a hole through The Chair. The hole had to go through Butch first.

“I don’t really …”

“Mr. PETERSON … Do I look stupid to you?”
“No … sir.”

“Then tell me why you did it.”

“It … well, it was Billy’s idea.”

“Yessss. And what idea was that?”

“About making fun of the girls …”

“Do you like it when people make fun of you, Mr. Peterson?”

“No sir.”

“So what do you plan to do about it?”

“Maybe I should … apologize?”

Slim Randles
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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer