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HOME COUNTRY

If you didn’t know what time of the year it was, or what the weather was like, you could tell simply by eaves dropping at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn coffee shop.

“Good to see you here, Doc,” said Herb Collins. “That warm water on the battery trick work for you?”

“Thanks, Herb. Yep. I tried it this morning. What’s that you got there?”

“Travel thingie. You know it’s more than 80 degrees in Guatemala … right now?”

“Saw a deal on TV,” Dud said. “They’re water skiing in Florida. You can go fishing down there all year round.”

“You going to Guatemala, Herb?” said Doc.

“Maybe. Been thinking about it. I don’t know much Spanish, though.”

“All you need to know,” said Dud, “is ‘Hace mucho calor,’ Herb.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Sure is hot!”

“I was just thinking yesterday,” said Doc, “of the unsung beauty of sweat. You know, we take sweat for granted in summer. Heck, we even dislike it and go swimming to wash it off.”

“That’s a fact,” Dud said.

“But I think it would be kinda fun to sweat right now. You know, just sit in a hot sun and bask like an old lizard and sip iced tea…”

“… and wear dark glasses,” said Herb.

” … and watch girls in bikinis,” said Dud.

They looked at him.

“Around here?”

“Well, no. I mean, Guatemala or Florida, you know.”

“Yeah,” said Herb. “Guatemala.”

About that time Loretta came up. “You boys want your coffees topped off, or should I just turn the hose on you?”

They shoved their cups forward and grinned.

“Sale on snow shovels down at the hardware store,” said Doc.

“Heard that,” said Dud.

Brought to you by Slim’s award-winning books at www.slimrandles.com, where nearly all the words are spelled right.

Slim Randles
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Slim Randles

Six years ago he began writing a syndicated humor column for newspapers called “Home Country.” He’s also the author of 16 books, including three novels and the biography of The Rounders author, Max Evans. One of Slim’s most recent books, “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right” has won two state awards and one national award. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer