This week’s HTYH is a continuation of Larcine’s story: My son called with great news that our first grandchild was on his way. I was elated until I looked at my schedule and discovered that I was speaking every single weekend that month. I know we’re not supposed to be asking God for personal favors but I prayed, “Please God, just this one time I need a little favor, please don’t let this baby be born on the weekend.” Sure enough, I was in Iowa when the blessed event happened. Butch called right after my plane landed and said the baby had arrived. I was angry beyond belief, I was in charge and this birth was supposed to wait until I was there. I was so angry. The people at the conference were really nice and they were all glad to see me, but I was livid. I didn’t want to be there and I just hated their guts. I excused myself from the table and called my sponsor. I vented to her about how unfair this situation was and said, “I hate Alanon and hung up.” No sooner had I hung up the phone when it started ringing; it was my sponsor’s sponsor. I don’t know how Alanon is in other states, but in CA if your sponsor’s sponsor calls; you’ve really crossed the line. I knew better than to yell at Charlotte so I used another tactic and started crying. But, Charlotte wasn’t impressed she instead asked me in a calm voice, “Larcine, did you turn your will and life over to the care of God today?” I said, yes, “I do that every day.” She said, “Then you better believe that wherever your are and whatever you’re doing that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.” A beautiful and blessed event has happened, the baby is fine, your son is happy, your husband is happy so don’t be messing it up by demanding that it be all about you.”
When I am by myself, it’s all about me and what I want but when I surround myself with Alanon and A.A. people it’s a beautiful place to be. I was making up the rules again and when that baby was born I had to be there, or it was going to get ugly. My sponsor and her sponsor saved me from myself again and it was a beautiful event. I sent flowers, telegrams, cakes and clothes announcing that grandma was on her way and that she would be there in 48 hours. I learned in Alanon that if we become rigid, we will break, either we surrender to flexibility or break. If you want to insist on making the rules and being in control of others that’s your affair, but it will eventually crush you. Whenever I walk into an Alanon meeting I ask myself, “What’s sticking up my butt that needs to be pulled out and resolved so I can get on with my life and be happy. Wearing life like a “loose garment” is so much easier than trying to control everything and everybody around me. “Happiness is an inside job,” I have a candle that says no light is lost by lighting another candle; the Alanon people light my candle and my life is brighter when I can light other candles. Thank you for letting me share with you. The End.