HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH

This week’s HTYH is a continuation of Judy P.’s story: I asked the women in that little A.A. group for their phone numbers and every day at about 3:00 PM I’d start calling the numbers to find a ride to their meeting. Some of the women came to me with their phone numbers and the others I asked them, but even though I had nothing to drive I was nevertheless able to get to an A.A. meeting. I did the phone thing for the first two months and then around the 90-day mark, I fell in love again and we got married; don’t do that. He had four months of sobriety and I had 90-days and together, we provided our home group with lots of entertainment. We moved to a small town in the mountains and rented a house for 45 dollars a month. I don’t know what we thought we were going to do for money because there were no jobs in that town and I only had fifty cents to my name. I didn’t know if I should spend my 50 cents on gas or buy something to eat. Lucky for us there was a nice lake full of bluegills nearby and so we fished a lot and that’s how we survived. We were flat broke, but there were a few fond memories and whenever I think about frying those fresh bluegills it makes my mouth water.

That marriage didn’t last long because my new husband took off for Atlanta and left me sitting. I was so lonely but besides fishing, I read all of Alcoholics Anonymous’ free literature and other books the A.A. people gave me like “Came to Believe,” “Stools and Bottles,” and “12 Steps & 12 Traditions.” I had a very hard time getting into the Big Book during the first five years of my sobriety because it seemed over my head and I didn’t understand it. The A.A.’s also gave me copies of the Grapevine magazine and when my marriage finally blew up and we had our last argument, I went to that mountain lake with my two adopted stray dogs. I was sitting there crying my eyes out and I had not cried since I got sober, but I was really feeling the pain and totally let go of my emotions. I was feeling sorry for myself and it seemed my life was a worse mess now than when I was drinking. I looked towards the top of the mountain and said, “God, I don’t know if you’re there or not, but I need help, or I’m going to drink again.” To this day they still make moonshine up there and I knew right where I could get it.

I didn’t see God come down to where I was at and I never heard a big voice in the sky or saw any bright lights but immediately after asking Him for help a very real sense of peace and a calm passed over me that I had never before in my lifetime experienced. In that quiet moment of absolute serenity and bliss, I knew that everything was going to be all right. I had no idea what was going to happen to me but whatever it was, I was OK with it. I don’t know where it came from but it was just like a close friend sitting next to me with their loving arms wrapped around me and it lifted me to a warm peaceful place. Suddenly I believed that everything was all right and it was. Another thought that followed my sense of wellbeing was that, I was God’s child and he loved and cared about me. I was 24 years old and it never before occurred to me that I was His child and He loved me. I have no idea where those thoughts came from, but they were over whelming. I got a ride back to Atlanta and became heavily involved and totally immersed in Alcoholics Anonymous and service work. I got busy serving my home group, a women’s group and I did whatever was asked of me. I still kept my distance from other women, not because I thought they were caddy or snobby people but because of how I felt about me…