HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH
This week’s Here’s To Your Health is a continuation of Steve C.’s story.
From the time my third daughter was born on April 3, 1972, and for the next 20 years I made everybody who came into contact with me, just as miserable as I was. Today, I believe one of the most baffling things about alcoholism is the total and absolute denial of our alcoholism and addictions. I was positive in my alcohol soaked brain that I couldn’t be an alcoholic; surely that didn’t pertain to me! I suffered from what the A.A.’s term “Terminal Uniqueness.” My poor wife did everything within her power to convince me that I had a problem, but I wouldn’t hear it. If people would just leave me alone, I would be allright. I was just having a “bad” run of luck. Unbeknownst to me, Louise was sprinkling Holy Water on me after I passed out in drunken stupors. When I woke up in the morning, I would be all wet, but I thought it was just a bad case of the “night sweats.” Some people today find that story humorous, but it was an act of desperation on the part of a bewildered and baffled wife.
I must have been hired and fired at least fifty times during those 20 years. I was a good worker, if I showed up for work, without a hangover, if the boss would leave me alone, and if I could take Fridays off so I could drink for three days in a row. My children were afraid of me because they never knew what condition dad would be in when he finally came home. They couldn’t have friends over or invite them to stay all night for fear dad would come home drunk and embarrass them. They never knew where they were going to live next or how long they would be there because dad couldn’t hold a job. And, since dad spent all his money on alcohol and drugs he couldn’t pay the rent on time and we were constantly dodging landlords and moving. Although I’ve been sober since 1990 and we’ve lived in our present home for over ten years, Louise still saves empty boxes, just in case we have to move again.
After my daughters graduated from high school my alcoholism and drug addiction finally brought family matters to a head. Dad was out of work “again,” Louise was bringing home whatever income she could and we were living in an apartment with our daughters because we couldn’t afford our own housing. Then, Louise came up with a bright idea, since I wasn’t working, it would be a perfect time for me to visit my parents. At the time, I didn’t understand that it was her way of ending our relationship, so I agreed. Louise somehow came up with enough money to buy me a one-way bus ticket back to Indiana. When Louise put me on that bus I had $1.50 in my pocket, she had packed two tuna sandwiches for me, but when I looked out the bus window to wave good-bye, she was nowhere to be seen? I thought she had a lot-of-nerve not waving good-bye to me especially after all I’d done for her, but she wanted nothing more to do with me.
When I arrived on my parent’s doorstep they immediately notified me that drinking alcohol in their home would “not” be allowed! My parents had stopped drinking several years earlier, joined a church and they were on the path to a better life and so I agreed not to drink alcohol while I stayed in their home. The first night I stayed there, my parents went next door to visit relatives so I got into mother’s purse, stole $20.00, went to the liquor store, bought two pints of Vodka, a quart of orange juice, went upstairs in their home and did what I did best; got drunk. I stayed that way for 45 days until my parents got fed up with my alcoholism and bought me a one–way ticket back to Colorado. To be continued…
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