THE CIGARETTE SONG
Now I’m a fella with a heart of gold,
The ways of a gentleman, I’ve been told.
The kind of a guy that wouldn’t even harm a flea
But if me and a certain character met
That guy that invented that cigarette
I’d murder that son of a gun in the first degree.
I wished that my kids didn’t smoke, but two out of three do, so I figure all those millions of dollars they’re spending on the anti-smoking campaign aren’t near as effective as they are telling us. Everywhere I look, people are still lighting up, mostly kids, and I also suspect that making it illegal to smoke just causes more kids to pick up the habit.
Well not because I don’t smoke myself
I don’t reckon they’ll harm your health
I’ve smoked ’em all my life, and I’m not dead yet.
But nicotine slaves are all the same,
At a pettin’ party or a poker game,
Everything’s gotta stop while they smoke that cigarette.
My brother Bill finally quit smoking at least he cut down to just a few puffs a day. He purchased some little aluminum cap that he used to put over his cigarette, which allowed him to light the same cigarette three or four times, just taking a few puffs. Now he has finally quit completely. He claims that he smoked over 40,000 packs and he says that what the warning should say on the cigarette pack is: “May cause a problem after 40,000 packs.”
Now in a game of chance the other night,
Old Dame Fortune was doing me right.
The kings and queens just kept on comin’ round
I played ’em hard, and I bet ’em high
But my bluff didn’t work on a certain guy
He kept on raisin’ and layin’ that money down
This country was founded on alcohol and tobacco. When the first settlements were getting established in this country, the only thing that would bring in cash was alcohol and tobacco. Those goods were sold to England and profits were accumulated to the point that the country was finally amounting to something. How times have changed. The lawyers trumped up some song and dance to make everyone think it was okay to take away a big chunk of the tobacco company’s money, and they did.
Yeah he’d raise me, and I’d raise him.
I sweated blood, gotta sink or swim;
He finally called, but he didn’t raise the bet.
I said, “Aces full,Pal, How ’bout you?”
He said, “Well, I’m gonna tell you in a minute or two.
But right now I got to have another cigarette.”
Under current market conditions, the agreement was worth $1.7 billion to all states over a time span of ten years. Attorney General Steve Carter said. “Indiana’s share will be approximately $34.7 million.”
As a result of the agreement, Vibro made a payment of $78 million to MSA states–$1.5 million was earmarked for Indiana.
Smoke! Smoke! Smoke that cigarette!
Smoke, Smoke, Smoke
And if you smoke yourself to death,
You’ll tell Saint Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait,
But you just got to have another cigarette.
Participating manufacturers under the MSA are bound by a wide array of restrictions on the advertising, promotion and marketing of cigarettes, including outright bans on targeting youth, outdoor advertising, and distribution of any merchandise advertising a cigarette brand.
Now the other night I had a date
With the cutest little gal in the 50 states,
A high-bred, uptown, fancy little dame.
She said she loved me,
And it seemed to me
That things were about like they oughtta be.
So hand in hand we strolled down lover’s lane.
No, the smoking problem hasn’t gone away, and I doubt that it will in our lifetime. But maybe we can tax it into oblivion.
She was oh so far from a cake of ice,
Our pettin’ party was going nice,
So help me Hannah, I think I’d ‘ave been there yet
But I’d give her a kiss and a little squeeze
And she said, “Bob, excuse me please,
But I just got to have another cigarette.”
“The current near-hysterical preoccupation with safety is at best a waste of resources and a crimp on the human spirit, and at worst, an invitation to totalitarianism. Public education is desperately needed.”
Michael Crichton
> Read More Information About Us
> More Articles Written By Our Staff
- Little River Wetlands Names New Executive Director - May 10, 2024
- Local Writer Irons Out Devotional Inspired By Mother’s Day Gift - May 10, 2024
- Sharing Plants & Local Food - May 10, 2024