HERE AND THERE IN WAYNEDALE

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just have to tell you about what my little tubby hubby Wayne and I did early one Thursday morning a few weeks ago. OH NOT THAT; I know what you’re thinking. We do get out of bed once in a while you know AND away from our couch, and the futon, and the backseat in our Caddy, and the spare bedroom, and the kitchen table, and the patio, and the basement and the staircase; oh and the attic; we only did that once . . .

Anyway, we went to a garage sale or rather a rummage sale as it were. We went to Mount Calvary Lutheran Church’s annual “If-you-don’t-like-the-price-make-us-a-deal-sale.” That’s what one gentleman told us. We didn’t pay any attention to him; I mean their prices were already “bargains” and only a cad would even think of trying to ‘jew’ a church down on their prices. Wouldn’t you think? Sorry, that may have been a poor choice of words I could have used the word ‘screw’ but then I’m already in enough hot water with my cute editors, those adorable little guys Alex and Mike.

Anyway again, it just makes me so mad to hear or see good Christian women (and men) try to screw the church out of a few pennies. Hey, it all belongs to God anyway and he could take it all away from you, so give some back willingly. Enough of my preaching already.

We got there early at around 8:00 AM like the paper said and found that it wasn’t supposed to open until 9:00 AM. Those good-hearted people of the church opened the doors early and we got to go in and have first-pick on the goodies. Like I said earlier, we did get some fabulous bargains. Thank you Mount Calvary; you’re such dolls. We saved a bundle over what we would have paid if we’d bought all that stuff at K-Mart, Menards, or Wal-Mart.

We found bargains galore and so many of them that we had to make two trips to the Caddy and we had to have two of their attendees help us carry it all out. We told them to keep the change after the bill was tallied up. We gave them more than they asked; I think God was pleased; we certainly were.

After that we stopped over at Rich’s Restaurant and had such a nice lunch. As always the food was fabulously plentiful and the coffee was hot and they just kept our cups filled to the brim. Thank you dears and thank you for keeping the potty so nice and clean. It came in handy after all that coffee. Even my little tight-lipped hubby Wayne commented on it and he’s not a potty talking person like us women. I mean, if there’s a bad or dirty potty around, we women will notify other women and the word will be passed and spread around and that company will lose business and not realize what caused it. So merchants, KEEP THOSE POTTYS CLEAN AND KEEP THE TOILET PAPER RE-STOCKED. Your business will flourish; I guarantee it. Men on the other hand usually don’t do potty communications and they think the world is their urinal and never watch where they aim anyway.

If any business out there has only one potty (male/female) for the public to use then please put up a sign that says, “PLEASE PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER USE!” It would be well appreciated. It could have saved my having to wring the water out of my dress tail and having Wayne walk very close behind me to make an exit out of the place without being embarrassed more than what I already was.

The manager of the last place we shopped at thought we were smuggling something out of the store and stopped us at the door. He bent over double laughing when I showed him my wet dress tail and soppy panty hose. I thought that was plain rude of him; but he was cute. It really was my fault and I should have looked before I sat down but I won’t go there again until they publish a notice in the paper that they’ve installed a potty just for us women. Take that Mr.-Laugh-At-My-Wet-Butt, will ya!

Until next time,

TAA TAAA.

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Mrs. Waynedale

The adventures and reviews of Mrs. Waynedale are written by a mystery author in the Waynedale area. You have to love her, eccentric, truthful, and quaint as she is. She is a champion for Seniors. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer