Oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh I just have to tell you we’ve re-discovered Rich’s Restaurant. They have a huge parking lot and we got to park our car real close to the door. I nicknamed her Caddy ’cause Wayne likes golf and always has his clubs in the trunk but he jokes with his Legion buddies and says he calls it The Caddy because it hauls his old bag around. I’m sure there’s something funny about that but I’m not sure what it is. It’s ok as long as we can laugh about it. He may need braces if someone explains it to me and I don’t approve.
We ordered breakfast even though it was in the afternoon. We did get up late again due to Wayne’s friskiness and we missed their early bird special. Anyway we watched them erase it off the board as we went in so we didn’t ask if it was still available. We’ve discovered that other restaurants in the area, McDonalds included, have certain hours that they serve some foods and when the magic hour arrives it’s dropped from their menu faster than Jack-The-Ripper can do a bikini wax. Sorry, I was thinking of something else. I call Wayne my little Jack-The-Zipper-Ripper he’s so impetuous; he’s cost me a fortune in dress repairs but he’s worth it the little dear.
I ordered the vegetable omelet and they brought me the hugest plate full of food that you ever saw. Land, I’m telling you, there was enough food for the two of us but Wayne had to order something else so I asked for a doggie bag ahead of time. Well they told me that they don’t have doggie bags any more; they have styrofoam boxes. Wayne calls them hog troughs. I like to refer to them as puppy boxes; I think that’s much cuter.
There was this big huge omelet just loaded chock full of vegetables that took up half the large oval plate they served it on and such a mess of golden hash browns I’ve never seen in my life except maybe the time we stopped in a trucker’s restaurant on our way to Florida. I think Wayne said it was Clyde’s Chew & Choke Truck Stop and Gun Range or was it “Gobble and Gag?” I know the sign said, “EAT HERE AND GET GAS,” or something funny like that.
Anyway Rich’s had the bestest rye toast and just oodles of little jelly packets in all my favorite flavors. The waitress said I could take some home with me to enjoy with the food I was taking. Oh, and thank you dear for keeping our coffee cups filled. Land, I was almost floating by the time our breakfast was through. I found they have a nice clean potty close by though.
Now Wayne, being the cute little Have-To-Have-It-His-Own-Way person and not wanting to share a breakfast, ordered a stack of three pancakes with two over-easy eggs, sausage patties and an extra serving of syrup. I was sure he was going to ask for a hog trough to take at least half of it home with him but he didn’t; he ate it all, every last disgusting looking mouth full.
Wayne doesn’t enjoy pancakes like they show on TV when they advertise the I-HOP place out north. No, he takes the two top pancakes off and lays them aside on his napkin and lays an egg (oh that was a punny wasn’t it) on his bottom pancake on the plate. He then puts a pancake on top of the egg, lays the other egg (oops again) on the pancake and then puts the last pancake on top of the last egg. That is disgusting enough but then he pours all the syrup (both little pitchers full) over the pancakes and cuts the mess all up with his knife and fork including the syrup soaked sausages. Did I mention that he used up all the butter they brought with the pancakes?
He ate and slopped and glommed his way through that whole sticky mess. It took him a half glass of water and three or four extra napkins to keep mopped up while he ate. I have to look out the window when he pulls shenanigans like that.
He got the steering wheel all sticky and it’s a good thing that the syrup didn’t stain my new blouse or I would have had one heck of a hissy fit. He’s ruined some dresses of mine that way while I was wearing them.
Is it my imagination or have the restaurants in Waynedale improved since we’ve been gone? Maybe it’s due to the smoking ban or to our age but we seem to enjoy the food more, the friendly people of Waynedale, and just the area in general. I could go on and on about the wonderful changes around here and I will in future columns.
We watched a while back, as the kids were playing in the water thingy in the Waynedale Park. It was all I could do to keep Wayne from taking his clothes off and prancing around under the multi-colored water sprinklers. I will admit it was tempting but then the law says we shouldn’t do that in public. I’ve often wondered, “Why not?” Anyway I did take off my shoes and hose and waded around; it was so nice. Wayne wanted to go and get his bathing trunks so we left and went home. It’s been so long since he’s even had those old trunks on that they didn’t fit any more. He accused me of shrinking them but then I reminded him that the roll of skin hanging outside his trunks had nothing to do with my doing the laundry. I’ll tell you how long he’s had those old moth eaten trunks; he was issued those old bluish black wool things in Navy boot camp back during the beginning of the Vietnam War sometime. He had a 29-inch waist back then but now I think the two numbers have since changed places on the sweet round little dear.
OH! Wayne told me a joke the other day but I didn’t get it. He said, “Why does a new bride wear a night gown to bed? I said I didn’t know, so he said, “It’s to keep her shoulders warm.” I said, “That isn’t funny; when I’m chilly I put on a sweater.”
Till next time