HERE AND THERE IN WAYNEDALE

I’m bbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you lovely people of Waynedale, Indiana. It’s been so long since I was here that I just can’t tell you how much I’ve missed ya’ll – that’s a little something I picked up down South. I do hope you have missed us.

I hardly recognize the place. You’ve put in a turn signal light at the intersection of Lower Huntington Road and Bluffton Road and I just know it will be safer now. I can’t tell you how many times my little tubby hubby and I have had close calls trying to turn at that corner. It’s just so frightening to even think about it. I know I’ve wet myself several times when we had some very close calls there. Thank goodness for those new Depends thingies. I recommend them to all my senior friends or at least the ones that are left.

I’ve had to send out so many sympathy cards in the past few years that I’m running out of friends to send them to. We noticed in the obituaries lately that we’ve lost our old neighbor J. W. Birt recently and we will miss being able to correspond with him. Those delicious American Legion noon lunches won’t be the same now. Goodbye Doody, our sympathy goes out to your family.

We read in a newspaper, a while back, about some schools in America that are handing out condoms to their students. I think that this is a very good idea but only if they instruct the little darlings on how to use them.

I think that this practice should be extended to fire stations, police stations, hospitals, and churches. There is nothing like safety and being able to protect yourself when it gets cold and you’re lost. A source of warmth is always needed in case you lose your way out in the woods with no other means of protection from the elements. I think someone in authority has finally put his or her thinking cap on.

I hope that they follow suit and go one step further and supply the students with a packet that also contains matches, lip gloss, Band-Aids, high energy food bars, salt tablets, a flashlight, tweezers, and a means of signaling for help like a shrill whistle thingy. Fishing line and some hooks would be nice also. They should put all that stuff in a nice little unbreakable container that will not take up too much room in your purse or in a book bag. It could have a little compass doohickey built in on the lid so you can tell which way is North. It would be about the same size a one of those IPOD whatchmacallits.

Wayne and I tried using a condom every which way and finally got it to work. It’s a little hard to manipulate but it can be done if you follow instructions. They can also be used for an emergency water carrier although they are a little hard to drink from so I would recommend putting a collapsible cup in the emergency package to solve this problem, or at least a straw.

 

Until next time: TAA TAAA.

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Mrs. Wayne Dale can be reached at: news@waynedalenews.com.

The Waynedale News Staff

The Waynedale News Staff

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