HOMETOWN VIEWS

Ooooooooooohhhhhh I just have to tell you I’m BAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKK! We had such a lovely time over the holidays! I know that this is a little late but Wayne and I are getting older and it has been kinda hard to get around this winter. With all the ice and then the snow. By golly I just don’t know what I would of done if it would have come before Christmas. I have a hard enough time shopping without plowing through ice and snow! Speaking of Christmas…Did you notice all those pretty Christmas lights? Wayne and I did a drive around in some of the Waynedale neighborhoods like we do every Christmas. Wayne calls it a holiday drive-by that sweet little dear. I think that the most lighted area was Indian Village—-why there were so many lights, I just can’t imagine paying the light bills! OOOoooooohhhhh and did you happen to see that one house on Winchester Road??? You couldn’t miss it. You could see that one from miles away too! It had icicles hanging from the trees. And bicycles! All lit up!! And the wheels on those bicycles even went around all lit up. Wayne called it the noodle yard. But I called it “Icicles and Bicycles.” Those lights are still up matter of fact. So if you get a chance—-do a drive-by down Winchester Road.

Oooooohhhhhhh…I just ate way too much over the holidays. I am to the point that I can’t stand to look at food. I think I gained 25 pounds the way my girdle fits. It’s straining at the seams and I’m afraid someone is going to get hurt if it ever decides to let loose. My cute tubby hubby stays the same size though; he doesn’t gain an ounce or lose an ounce.

Sooooooo…I’ve decided to go on this diet. So the other day, Wayne and I packed up all our Christmas goodies; the cookies, bell-shaped chocolates, cherry cordials, chocolate coated peppermint sticks, peanut butter cups, homemade fudge, caramels, and all the rest of that junk food—-we accidentally acquired—-and now are giving it away to anyone who comes to visit.

We kept the items we could use on our diet—protein, vegetables, and fruit. You’ve probably heard of this diet—-everyones doin’ it! It is called the Atkins Diet. You can eat whatever meats, vegetables, and fruit you can get your hands on, but no starches like potatoes, breads, pastas, or stuff like that. So that kinda’ puts a crimp on the eating out too.

We fudge a little bit though. For instance, Wayne and I will go out but just ask the waitress to bring a salad and meat but no potatoes and no dinner roll. After the first week, I lost one pound and Wayne said he could do that by just taking his toupe off and his teeth out, the little jiggaloe.

I know that it was just a pound because when I stripped down to what Mother Nature gave me to wear and what we wear out in nature, there was no room for doubt; I only lost one pound! Wayne said that I should take off my makeup, and try again. I felt like putting him outside with the dog. The little dear. My doctor said that it was like a balloon the more that I put in it (by eating) the bigger it gets and the more I take out (by exercising) the smaller it gets. No one ever put it like that before; I think he is right.

I can hardly bend over to tie my shoes, and now here comes the Girl Scouts and I just can’t resist their cookies. And my cute little tubby hubby just can’t resist those girls. He invites them into the house and shows them all around. He even lets them pet his…cat! I like to buy one of every box. Thin mints, Shortbreads, Peanut Butter Patties, Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Caramel deLites, Reduced Fat Lemon Pastry Cremes (now this one I could order two of), Animal Treasures, and Pinatas. Wayne just can’t tolerate the cookies with peanut butter so I get that whole box or boxes since there are two different kinds of peanut buttery ones. And then comes Valentines Day, my favorite day—with all the chocolate but that’s a couple of weeks off.

Sooooo for my New Year’s resolution in between Girl Scout cookies, I vow to go from (censored) pounds to (censored) pounds by the time we go south for our Bare Vacation. It feels so good to run free in the sun—doesn’t it?

If anyone else decides to go on the Atkins diet let me know how you make out. Why it is all about getting into your thong during the thong season in the sun. Good luck with your diet. Until next time, Taa, Taaa.

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Mrs. Waynedale

The adventures and reviews of Mrs. Waynedale are written by a mystery author in the Waynedale area. You have to love her, eccentric, truthful, and quaint as she is. She is a champion for Seniors. > Read Full Biography > More Articles Written By This Writer