Oooooohhh I just have to tell you, we didn’t go anywhere. Ha Ha I’ve always wanted to say that. But it’s true; we’ve stayed at home this last week or two. We’ve been painting and doing ‘fix up’ stuff to the upstairs bedroom, living room and of course, we did a little in the basement, den, both hallways, the sewing room, and garage. We’ve changed our furniture around so many times we’ve worn it out and had to get some new stuff for the living room and of course, the old stuff in the living room went to the spare bedrooms, and the stuff in the spare bedrooms went to the basement, and the stuff in the basement was offered to the kids, which they refused, so we wound up calling this place and they came and got it. My little Tubby Hubby lost 15 pounds just dragging stuff around the house, bless his heart. He is so patient with me, it makes me wonder what he’s up to half the time.
He finally got over his all-over sunburn. At least he didn’t wind up with any tan lines. I’ve peeled so much dead hide off him it looks like where 10 dozen snakes shed their skins. He’s a little pink all over and a little tender right now but he’ll heal up and be good as new in no time.
Bobby Stark wanted me to let Ray McCune write this column for me since we didn’t go anywhere and Ray and his lovely wife finally did but I said, “No,” because if I don’t write it I don’t get paid and Ray would and he already has plenty of money from the other stuff he writes so there. I’ve come up with a list of the things I like best to eat and where you can find them.
The Best French Fries Award goes to LOCO-N-MOTION, 2801 Lower Huntington Road. They are the biggest (not the shoe string kind) fries I’ve found anywhere in Waynedale and they are freshly done per your order and not cooked way ahead of time. They are so golden brown and delicious and they serve you a lot for your money. Oh, and they don’t salt them for you like the fast food chains either. I like to get the large order and sometimes I let Wayne have some and sometimes I don’t. I do hate to see a grown man beg; don’t you?
The Best Hamburger For The Money Award goes to LOCO-N-MOTION. They serve a generous beef patty with whatever you want on it. I prefer just mustard. I call them yellow burgers; I think that is such a cute name. Oh, and sometimes I like some chopped onion on my burger if Wayne and I aren’t going to make out anywhere soon. If I do change my mind, I make him eat some onion too. That way the onion breath won’t bother either one of us. They have just the freshest softest buns. They aren’t the old toasted things that some restaurants in the area serve their meat patties on.
Let’s see, Hall’s earns the Frosty Malt Award. They’re about the best around and I like the fact that they have three sizes to match my appetite.
Hall’s also gets the Big Buster Award. I’m just a slave to that double decker hamburger with the special sauce.
The Hot Italian Sub Award goes to East of Chicago Pizza. One of those and a cup of coffee is all you will want to have for lunch unless you’re like my Wayne, the little round dear. He can eat two (one in each hand) and talk about messy . . . those sandwiches are good and juicy and Wayne looks like he’s been dipped in and drug through after he consumes those hefty sandwiches. You’d best just strip him down and shove his clothes in the washer and him in the shower.
Of course there’s only one place that makes a real roast beef sandwich in Waynedale. I wait ’till they are on sale and then Wayne and I splurge and get five to go. So the Roast Beef Sandwich Award goes to Arby’s of course. Order plenty of Horsey Sauce; you’ll love it.
Azar’s has me hooked on some of their food dishes, so they earn the Chili Spaghetti Award and the Big Boy Award both. Some people think that Hall’s Big Buster and Azar’s Big Boy are alike. Uh uh. I think they are two distinctly different burgers and I like them both.
The Biscuits and Gravy Award goes to Rich’s Café. They serve a generous helping and you can order extra biscuits if you think you’ll have too much gravy left over or you can order more gravy if you have too much biscuit left over. I never have been able to balance them out. Wayne just eats.
Oh, well Waynedalers, I hope to have our house in living order soon and maybe Wayne and I can get out to eat some place. I’ll be sure to tell you all about it. I’m having a sudden craving for a big mess of ribs. Until next time Taa Taaa.